and so i live

and so i live, live on

until that day no more

when breath no longer

feeds my soul

and the touch of love

no longer titillates my skin

until then, kiss these lips

hold my hand

walk along beside me

listen to the wind

see the ripples fold

underneath the spring

my ears shall hear the timbre

of notes played by grand masters

mine eyes to capture the souls

and hearts of words on writ

by Sophocles and Shakespeare

once again, to this, i note

until my feet no longer walk

or my ears not hear the breeze's song,

the waft of your hair i no longer can smell,

your azure eyes i can no longer see or

words from my heart no longer speak

until then i shall live, live on

with no regret 

sun shadow

in a cavern of my mind where roots of wisdom are born

gathers a surfeit of memories of when youth held

my hand tightly and my glass of juice was immortality

every moment was deplete of life’s trepidations  

and there was joy in the freedom of the wind that

filled my lungs as i would run like a deer in its meadow

and the angst of life had not yet laid its heavy arm upon

my shoulders

in this journey walking a step in step with me, t’was

a void in absence of a father's love, an anguishing was

awaiting to touch my soul as my life was assembling

and that emptiness of unrequited love lay dormant

in a chamber of my heart, later to evince like a shadow

cast by the lonely pearl of night but, for now, little was 

known of this, for it was never known

the most i ask and least of life, as Diogenes asked of Alexander:

not to stand in the way of the sun

unrequited life

a tiny wild flower’s lavender petals

soon become dark purple then black
amidst the cold air coming from the north
before my eyes can take pleasure
of its radiance in color and amiss to its verve,
its stem goes limp and bends to rest its
lifeless bud of stamen, stigma and style
on the loam of its berth, earth

jumping, dancing, a white tail doe

runs away as i unintentionally enter
into her field of languishing privacy, though,
not before she turns her head with stern look
telling me of her disdain then off she goes
as i stand there only having wished to witness
her calm of being while she settles to nest
on the field of feed and resting bed of her abode

when young and innocence still filled my days

the distinction of my language, the color of my skin
was brought to light. that i was unlike others 
so friends became too few telling me
i didn’t belong and that is when i learned
to stand on my own. i was fast and i was strong
and mama assured me i did nothing wrong and
her words also helped when, not knowing why papa left
never to come back, leaving mama and us all alone

the cold of winter’s breath lays white frost

upon my feet where once a verdant landscape
now turning to a golden hue just before a linen of snow
covers it from head to toe. it shushes the colorful song
of autumn as the robin takes notice and rides the current
of warm to the eye of a southern sun and i stand here
wondering if i shall ever witness the imaginings of
Van Gogh’s ‘starry night over the Rhone’
or Wyeth’s  ‘Christina’s World’.

will love kiss my heart to match how i have kissed

and dissipate that gray mist which sometimes in my
day causes me to sigh, to cry, lamenting a pain
that needs not be and filling the emptiness with sun,
with moon and stars upon the day, the night
shine your light for me oh spirit of calm and peace
i shall open my arms to embrace the likes of thee ?

the calm after a storm

witnessed the calm after a storm

the flashing lightning only,
no more loud crack of thunder.
the howling gray wind settles
to a soothing swirling breeze
and the leaves that once were
dancing wildly in gusts, along with
the branches they perched upon,
now lay as martyrs at my feet.
my hair unkempt, doth looks primordial

when never before had i witnessed

a storm such as this. filled with fear
and hearted breath, i thought the end was
near of all that i am from my nascence.
a witness to this storm, my heart beats twice,
three times faster than all the days before
of when my life, within, there was innocence 
walking with me in my youthful days of yore
and when hurt and scared would tap me on my
shoulder, a maternal arm would gently rest 
upon me to soothe my mournful soul

now witness to the wisdom of age teaches me 

how to ride storms both of Nature’s anger 
and the wrath of life within, having learned 
of how all is in balance in the end;
for without the storm, calm wouldn’t be
without breath there wouldn’t be you and me
and in the presence of fear, breathing deep,
with open eyes, an unclenched fist
and an open heart, comes a balance
bringing joy and warnth of love, near

solace of Nature

amidst the wonder of a tree and flower

a river flowing free at the feet of
a mountain that shades a valley
an eagle soars crown tilted eyeing down
at a daily sustenance flailing about
in the mouth of a bear wading in
a stream and a fawn and doe nibble
on petals splayed throughout the meadow,
lives a heart in pain and anguish as tears
flow because of the anger and hate
displayed by human beings, so, i wait   
for it all to subside if only for a moment   
thus letting the beauty, the solace of Nature’s breath,
be its substitute   

we walk together

you who’ve walked beside me

unknowingly and then behind me,
or you arrived and stood before me
you saw me and did not say hello.
do you remember me?

i saw your eyes when walking by,

smiled at you, you didn’t say hi
you turned your head, looked away
while my fingertips being frozen,
my pants and socks soiled and wet,
under street night lights i am shaking
and afraid, hungry in the light of day

i used to have a coat like yours,

a cap that would cover my ears,
dry clean socks and shoes,
a warm bed, a roof over my head but
without notice, life took me by surprise,
lost my children, lost my wife

i’ll be here alone with nostalgia at night,

and reveries by day keep me sane distract
my body in pain yet still .freedom of breath
so if you hear my heart while walking by
and don't turn your eyes away from me
i will still share with you a smile for we
will have ridden this wave of life till death

choosing you

sunrises i have witnessed

clouds soaring by
raindrops trickling upon my face
the pleasurable waft of flowers
all comes back to me
when i think of you

in this short spell of time

my  heart has felt a love
like no other much like a book
read from cover to cover
with its absence and its pain
reading the chapter about love
again and again so within me
to always remain

being near the end of my path

i choose these thoughts
when love kissed my cheek
warmth embracing my heart
walking amidst nature’s park
letting the wind part our hair
hand in hand our souls never to part

 

missing you

the night is long, sleep a callous foe
days come and they go
seems my heart and my breath
now partake but without care

use to hear the songs of birds

in my morning wakening
and watch the sun rays pierce
through finger tips of trees

let the breezes kiss my cheek

the grasses tickle between my toes
pigeons, squirrels eat from my hand
mariposas on my shoulders land

love once did take my hand

and like frivolity in story books 
romance spieled from lovers mouths  
and i'd walk in air and in the clouds

so now that you have gone

i wish for light of day to hurry by
that maybe i luck to sleep and
steal a dream of when your head
would lay gently upon my heart
 
 

the world goes on

a long stem daisy

bows to the weight of the rain
next to it stands a sturdy lily
the daisy leans against it
the lily doesn’t mind

an indigent lies on the sidewalk

next to him a mutt of many breeds  
does not bemoan the place or space
he shares, unconditionally, with his friend
watching people just walk by, happenstance 
that's why there they lie but not alone

a child seen running down a dirt street

flailing her arms in screams of cry
cloths torn and, charred, skin burned
behind her parents lie face down
amidst the remnants where but this 
morn they sat together eating morsels

in the fields the rain has ceased

the daisy now stands erect trying to
reach for the sun, the sturdy lily and
its purple peddles praise the sky as
the wind sways them to and fro
this is how the day will go 

you and me

when i asked if you would kiss me

it was not upon my brow or cheek
but on my lips where i am most
sensitive and where that kiss belongs
of you and me

when i asked if you loved me

it was not about how i walked
or ran or how i looked when clean
and groomed but of the heart belonging
of you and me

and when i asked of when i’m gone

will you in spirit hold my hand and kiss
my picture on your mantle, will you
remember that warm embrace
of you and me

cold heart

the frigidity of winter’s hand

my soul can bear
but a cold heart that hates
causes asphyxiating air

voices of vitriol and anger

run rampant through the streets
coming from crevices unseen
and in shadows, no longer discreet

the wolf foresaw this coming

when the lions roar had ceased
and denuded, the forests scream
so too, the rivers and seas

when not too long ago the eyes

of children search for a bird or star
wistful and fear now look up at skies
for their father, mother, sister, brother
lives lost to bombs sent from afar

yes the air is frigid, not

just of nature’s hand,
most unbearable, from the cold
uncaring heart of man

 

embraced by sun and moon

when the dusk arrived this new year

the Sun lay down not unlike last year
wearing its golden crown with crimson trim
laying a fiery blanket on the day’s landscape
if to say… i lay to rest now to sleep and
dream of yesteryear and letting go of its
burdens, its travails while my friend
the moon sprinkles sleep dust upon your
weary eyes and tomorrow another new day
shall evince with a breath of verve to
make new memories 

let me awaken once again, if i may, in 
your arms and the warmth of your smile

so that my day will begin in the same
rhythm and balance that the spirit of 
which holds the stars in place and allows
their brilliance of their intrinsic make-up
and that i may open my eyes and witness the
light coming from the dark desiring to hearken
the wisdom, that Love is the answer

alone under stars

in the cold of a new years day a single

leaf dangles, dances alone, whereas  
not long before, others were
hanging around flickering, fluttering  
in the sharing of the wind

soft rays of sunshine make this leaf's

skin sheer, exposing a web of veins
which show through of vulnerability
calling attention to the innocence of
its curves, a lady standing in her sundress

left alone, to belong wanes,

as others have now departed
to carry on nature’s cycle, yet,
this single leaf clings on, dancing
in solemnity and solo, under stars

and like this leaf, i too, stand here

in a gentle breeze thinking with
fond memories, those now departed,
vulnerable exposing the curves of my
soul in this seemingly vacuous place 
yet, their love in my heart does not wane

i cling to these precious days left

and those still with me, cherish and
hold on to these moments tightly,
knowing unlike the solo leaf in Nature
a departure of others rejuvenate with Spring

alone, i witness this starry night

merry stardust

we are but stardust particles

floating about in the dark
thinking we are more and
curious as to our relevance

this moment in time, every cycle,

the world is introspective and
looks within to where it’s going
and where it’s been

stands before a mirror so as

to review its moral attire,
fitted from its narrow choices
of colors hanging in its closet
mandated by its religious writ

from the angst of our concerns over

our relevance and value, we disparage
and minimize our peers and other life forms
thinking it elevates us to, 'superior'

in the fear of death of our 'selves'

we incorporate into our religious scriptures
the savior of our souls convinced to be
true, then he or she our scripted savior,
will judge us then of this greater value

little do we know of value in the eyes

of the 'one' that's the universe spirit.
so by this it shall be said:
be kind to one another for in the
great expanse of time and space
we are but tiny stardust, in it together

let us all, in this cycle of our year,

enjoy our particular celebrations in peace
and calm, share our oneness and our common
wish that our souls be given the eternity of love   

missing you

standing here looking out my window  

faint of red, green and yellow gold light
glistens and glimmers through the fog
in the dark of a winter’s night

a tiny single snow flake lands upon a pane

reminds me of how slow a dance flakes fall
covering copper leaves of trees and the
sparse verdant splay left of autumn’s nest

peering out onto the powder white

giving light to the night, i think i see
small paw prints strewn in the snow
where but too short a winter ago
you and i had played

your voice in my mind resounds of song

words in mellifluous tone pierce my heart
i shed tears in memory of an anguish from
your lament because no wrapped gifts
lay underneath our evergreen

but too young, my words, couldn’t come

to let you know the preciousness of love
the gift of birth you had already given me
that was not laying underneath the tree

wind blows brisk now, frost on window’s pane

an arm embraces me o’er my shoulder,
a kiss upon my cheek, a cup of hot cocoa
warms my hands and my love stands next to me

looking out onto the still and peaceful calm

i ask from my heart my soul that in the still
of this night covered winter’s white
you’ll see me standing here, missing you

the dance

love inside me sometimes feels

i have more within than most
as the stars they wink and the
moon smiles just for me  

the crimson light at dusk

of the days’ sun, so too, waves
in its departure as if familiar  
while displaying a veil of gold
onto curdled cotton figures
soaring across the sky azure

a wind gusts friendly, lifting

skirts of trees as they sway
whilst my feathered friends
hang on to barren arboreal tips
whistling for my ears to hear

soon the autumn’s russet dress

around its shoulders wear
a shawl knit of white,
a cold vapors breath
moon beams make glisten
the winter’s night and the gray
shadows ask to join me in the dance

the human toll

a winter storm of cold has come

the soul of frigidity nips at our toes,
gray covers skies fill our days
leaving frost and chills the nights

ere to dissipate the damage

of this cold of hate and deep etched scar,
leaving behind a pain filled heart,
with tears of a battered, tattered soul
of self imposed human toll

but life amends and shall once again

revolve around to face the sun’s warmth
whilst the nascence of a new morn
shall reawaken with life's song
and will redress of spring
correcting what's gone wrong  

how dare you interrupt

how dare you smile at me

cause me curiosity
tease my heart like a test
take my hand without request
upon your cheek i’d leave a kiss
when you don’t see me
i sigh in comforted bliss

how dare you look up at me

with those puppy eyes
ask of me to share
love without condition,
place your paw upon my knee
to stroke the softness of your hair
as you lay your head
upon the heart of me

and mamasita, how dare to fill me

with memories of how you cared
you placed upon my shoulders
a blanket and a warm embrace
you changed my diaper
and combed my hair,
when some called me names
you’d wipe my tears of despair
for the many that did not care

how dare you interrupt me

depleting my lungs of breath,
speeding a rush of blood
through me and to my head,
my heart palpitates in a race,
not to drown in life but to tread

how dare you interrupt me with love  

this is what ‘thanksgiving’ is to me: my wife, mi mamasita, my pups jaz and jules (i miss you so much), to  friends who are still by my side and those who have departed but at one moment in time we shared hearts

 

merciful spirit

in a quiet space and moment, my thoughts

are harkened, trying to understand why life
has taken this turn where so much hate
and anger is dictating day after day in the
world around me and in a moments reprieve
i reflect upon my lineage of simpler times

i rise from a land of old

play in valleys paved of brush and stone
herald of feather crown wear and
ask of many gods depending on my
diurnal needs thus how the sun ascends and
the moon rests in its darkness overhead  

my soul consumes the riches of the forest,

breathe the air that blows the berries from
the bush and when cold, my wrappings
are of the garb from whilst the meat
i eat and i drink from the glistening stream that
runs down the side of the mountain god

my family of Nahuatl from Aztlan would labor

to build with carved stone laddered mounds so high
so as not to reach the sky but to be eye to eye
with the mountain god so that we could ask….
wherefore are we to be many suns and moons from now,
will they remember us and this of simpler times

oh spirit of old, who used to embrace my soul

when the moon would smile as it watched
the sun rise in the eve of day, transcending into
a life of simple joy and contentment, unfurling the
dark shadows with light where wisdom resides,
please wrap your arms around me and tell of
the stories of yore, fill my soul with love once more

  

opening my wings

my wings lift from their sides

the air beneath them lift me
onto the stairway to heaven
for i’ve come to this journey’s end

loved in depths where my heart, before, didn’t know

drank the tears of sadness until full
the howling wolf’s soul and me sit side by side
and watch his home burn to the ground

having heard the voices of despair

the asking for an open hand  
the flow of tears for someone to care
and deaf ears to listen if they dare

as i rise up and soar away from the mire on earth

i here the triumphant sound of wind,
the ocean waves clap and the mountains
whisper, the osprey and lion sing and roar to life

i do not say goodbye nor wish to see you cry,

would like to tell you why, it’s time for me
to fly where the universal spirit resides
along where all our souls soon will meet
giving the color blue to the palette of the sky