...hate filled

how does thou rest when thy soul and its spirit are 

dressed in attire where the shirt is drenched

of angry vile and trouser pockets are filled

with mire, sewn of threads for a coward

thine ears must hear the wailing and the cries

from children’s lacrimal spilling eyes due to

hunger of bellies and broken hearts from

mother’s arms, having been torn apart

is there no shame in thy heart for all the pain

caused and gravity of your actions, for the

tasteless words projecting of thy tongue

to propagate hate filled protractions?

resentful

the hours that were to be sated

in nocturnal dancing of dreams

from day-time delights and whimsy

were instead replaced by open and

awaken eyes in reveries of resentment

my spirit is being frayed by thoughts

thriving in the dark of resentment for

my aging years being worn in a body that

can no longer run but walks in pain and

discomfort with every labored step

so as not to disturb the restful sleep and

tenor of quiet and calm of my love lying

next to me, i slowly rise to hobble over to

the designated cushioned seat and sit with

night light beside to gather words in writ

sleep evades me and my synapse flair

with reflections of when i was bathed in

youth filled waters, i would swim t’if a

dolphin and on these river banks, my

legs could run and prance like deer

resentful of all who have too early departed

leaving my heart in tatters, my life re-sorted

but in the wake of this upending, the sun will

rise and set, the moon will smile and stars

glitter and amidst all this, Love shall still reign

...just being

you ask; what is my inspiration?

it is the sky in the morning that is painted

a yellow gold by its friend el Sol and then, 

the crimson delight before it takes rests and

then the calming peace when stars shine bright

and moon beams kiss the sea thus me.

it is the wild flower, it is the tree,

the breeze that blows upon my face,

the waft of the bell lily, the lilac, the rose,

it is the symphony of voices coming from

my feathered friends, the sound of the 

brook running down the mountain side.

you ask: what inspires me?

it is the breath i last took, to witness all this

...love, pure and selfless

tempered, i cannot be

concerning ‘Love’,

for it is the very fiber of

the ‘all’, the ‘one’,

thus it is you and me

t'was born at birth to reside

in this realm of the mundane

to evoke, emote and promote

the spirit of ‘life’

and whilst upon this sojourn,

i shall awaken and notice the

azure sky of day, and in the

noir of night, the light and glitter

of the moon and stars

i will walk amidst the forest to take

notice of the wild flowers and trees,

a stroll bare feet in a brook that runs

down from the mountain's peak

listen to the blowing dancing breeze

as it rustles the limbs and leaves in trees

and it whistles when passing through

pinecones, the scurrying and chatter

of squirrels and chipmunks, the buzzing

of bees

stopping for silence to hear the howls of

wolves while the deer stands quiet and

still as i raise mine eyes upward to observe

an eagle turning its crown downward to

look upon me

for this is the purest of selflessness and thus

when i return, breathtakingly, to my abode,

i will place my hand into hers', my love, and

i will share with her, the beating of my heart,

the experience of my spirit to all of this

understanding 'knowing'

what is.

 that mine eyes see

  my skin feels

    ears hear

     the scent?

why do

 my tears flow

  my heart flutters

   voice sings

     spirit dances?

  

does the wind know

 of its own whispers

  the tree when it sways

   flower when it blooms

    water that it quenches all?

when will I know?

dare i sleep

mine eyes they close

but i do not sleep

my diurnal stay keeps

my mind racing of

curious queries, thoughts

and memories of faces

 with smiles but most

with not carrying frowns

of angst and scars

from life’s pangs

sometimes i think, my

soul doth dread that

if mine eyes do close

they may not open

once more, for it knows

that my days before me

are no longer in the equal

number of those behind

and the love within will

somehow decline

i fear not death, for i do

know that it is like every

breath that i take, i know

not if one will follow, for

not knowing of this doth

not arise to fear, as it is

what must come, though

i do despair that my heart

may no longer feel of that

which i have learned to love

beyond a miracle

...when my soul doth depart onto
that transcendent beyond i hope
my journey traverses through a
garden surrounded by the miracle
mariposas in flight for then a smile
will evince upon the spirit of my soul
thus it will know, t'is on the right path

selfless moon light

..i sit at the rooted feet of a tree
where i become the selfless me
underneath the aura of the moon
where upon the gentle touch of
its moon beam kisses thus i too
shall glow amidst the otherwise
noir of night while my dreams
await of this nocturnal stay to
rest and lay my head to sleep

mariposa free to fly

…and so i am joyful as i walk amidst another Autumn day,

to be given another breath of life and having mine eyes

take pleasure in the gold and russet of Nature’s dress

my heart flutters like the wings of a hummingbird and i 

sigh whilst watching a mariposa dance atop Blackeyed

Susans, with its orange and black gossamer wings

if but for a moment i could share this wonderment with

those who cannot see and those who choose not to,

while little ears only hear the clanging of steel bars

soon Autumn will change its attire. snow will blow followed

by Spring and gossamer wings will flit about again and so

too, hopefully, a miracle of little hearts flying free

i am one with all

…i may not believe in the same divine causality as you

but i do notice when the perennials go to sleep at the

end of their season they will bloom again in Spring

…I’m aware that ‘animal life’ is bound to the Universe’s

mandate that there always be life thus they propagate  

the existence of it by giving birth to anew

…and at the end of whilst the moon beams kiss the sea

the sun will rise having its turn to lighten and warm the

day and nourish the flora and fauna

…knowing little about the theory of ‘duality and symmetry’

or your belief in ‘Divinity’ that speaks of ‘eternity’, i do know

my heart, i do know my soul, in Love is ‘one’ with 'all '

battle of the heart

...battle of the heart

like the Flower that is left but with a couple of petals,
or the Tree that has been denuded of its verdant leaves
all this after Mother Nature’s anger has befallen upon
them with its wrath

my Heart is barely hanging on to the desire for living
for it is being dismembered of its passion of its verve
and Love of life that comes from the inherent spirit of
what life is in this mundane existence

the intrinsic fiber of life must be beheld as a gift so
that when the Birds sing, mine ears perk up to listen and
when the Sun’s fingers pierce the clouds giving the day
its worth as the night awaits the Moon for its turn

when the Dolphin jumps out from the sea in joy and so
too the Orca, and the white caps of tides dance about
because that is what they do in fulfilling their duty as
the Feng Shui of the Earth’s ocean's blue

this heart, my heart as an empath, is in anguish while it
rides this storm of pain and sorrow being thrust upon so
many by Nature’s hand and more so from fellow beings
through transgressions of heartless hate

like the trees and flowers intertwined at their roots,
the rivers with oceans through streams, the wind on
clouds, valleys at the feet of mountains, and the Eagle
soars in the sky, the Wolf traverses the earth's terrain,
and we, to each other's hearts

my reflecting

reflecting upon moments

of where i am because of

where i’ve been and the

attire of what now i wear

i embrace the memories of

my life’s choices, pathways

i’ve traversed coupled in hands

and hearts touched and shared

a rainbow of stars, ‘en la noche

oscuro’ (in the dark of night),

a pleasure to mine eyes which

puts a smile on my face and one

‘en la cara de la luna’(the fase

of the moon)

gracias, ‘sol de la mañana y

nubias que bailan’ (thankyou

morning sun and dancing clouds)

hovering o’er me when needing

warmth and gentle cover

los ninos

behind my smile there are tears that flow unseen, not from

my now aging years and the pain in my hips and back

but from the anguish in the hearts of incarcerated children

who dreamed, only, to have some joy in their youth of years

so I awaken from my sleep in the middle of the night, it is

of you i reflect upon with angst whilst hearing cicadas calls

and i know if your thirst is not quenched or empty, bellies not

being sated, just know my heart is full thinking of you

mine eyes never sleep

so i ponder while I wait to close mine eyes

to sleep and hopefully dream of pleasures

in the mind and of the body, whilst i reside

in this world

though, lately, because of a disheartened soul

that is frayed by the caustic flailing’s of those

wishing to do harm and disrepair to the young

and the innocent, i cannot lie still and rest

we, who still have hearts that care, who in the

midst of aridity still dares to speak out for those

who are victims of his and their evilness; one with

fascist fists, others for their silence and enabling’s

and so now, with great displeasure in my heart i

close mine eyes to attempt to rest and dream of

what may come when i awaken; that the broken

hearts of separated children from mothers will no

longer be

flickering soul

i talked to the stars last night and asked:

…do you see for me from your perspective

of my mundane sojourn as to my destiny,

one of ascending glory or one of distilled plight?

as of lately having become a nocturnal being

i sit listening to the quiet and stillness in this

vacuous space from light, i cogitate about my

place in the balance and chaos of the universe

asked the brightest flickering star, Sirius, are you from

whence came the beginnings of our world and its life 

forms from your dust and on this journey through the

universe, did bring along its soul?

and so, now, i await a flicker of response to

these queries in my mind and heart as to…from whence

comes the make-up of my soul and wherefore will

it, from here, go?

just thinking

…one day soon ‘man’ will reflect, will introspect

and judge the choices made and misgivings, will wonder

how did we go so astray?

many millennia ago, we learned that as primordial beings

we attended to our diurnal existence no different than other 

less human characterized beings. we killed to eat, we killed

for territory rights, we defecated anywhere and slept under

a rock or in a cave.

at some point in time after we realized that in order to sustain

the uniqueness of our species we had to do things differently. 

we learned to draw on cave walls, learned grunts and groans,

sign language and thus communication afforded an affinity for

each other, realizing cooperation better served our species.

 at some point in our supposed progression, we began to develop

our cognitive abilities. we then arrived at a conclusion that there

is a meaning to our existence and thus we wrote a book of do’s

and ‘don’ts because we determined that we needed a purpose for

our existence and so we created a divinity that gives a purpose and

reason, for ‘life’ and accept ‘death’.

we then noticed that by following this written scripture and

abiding by its rules, we, as ‘man’, became more civil, we began

to care for each other and thus we formed a discipline, named it

‘religion’ and, so too, inserted our notion of the divine, convinced

ourselves that this book was written with this assistance of divine

intervention thus providing us with human morals and ethics

somewhere between this epiphany and now, we went astray. for

not only do we now kill for food, but also, each other for profit

and money. we have strayed from the scripture by manipulating

its meaning to reflect our vileness, our vices. we have perverted

‘religion’ to meet our newly found destructive nature.

we are allowing to be led by a vile persona. we are mirroring

a perverted nature of being. we care little about human life, about

all life, thus, we find ourselves at the cliff’s edge of not only human

extinction but the extinction of all life forms. all that is mundane.

alone with tears

…even though i practice resting my mind, resting my heart,

even though i exercise deep breathing to calm my soul

moments still arise where i feel an emptiness, a void

within that causes me lachrymal despair

i sit still and quiet at the rooted feet of my pink blossom tree

and stare at the daisy that also stands alone and still, before me,

at the iris that sways in the breeze, the little chipmunk scurrying 

about aloof but joyful, and yet sometimes i feel alone, lonely

my heart hurts for those i know that are living with a love

one who have been prognosed with an insidious and evil

infirmity and they feel helpless to relieve the angst, the

pain, and i'm reminded, of my own mortality

i hear the whistling whispers of the breeze blowing through

the limbs that hover over me and the occasional call from

the Cardinal that is perched above me harkening its mate

and so i smile but behind the smile are still the tears

i try to recall the moments of joy in my life, the love that

has found my heart, the spirit in the verve of life, yet, still

i lament in my mind and my soul wishes to purge, so i sit

at the base of my tree and i think i hear it crying with me…

nocturnal, i am now

…lately, i chide the day where once i played and most

are awake for t’is this, now, when quietly and without

notice i slither into moments of rest and sleep for this

is when the moon and stars lie down on horizon’s bed

and so too, now do i, for i’ve become nocturnal like them

seems, of the hustle and bustle in the day, i have taken

a disinterest of the fray and wish to sleep away, and while

the quiet of night allures me, where my thoughts are

undistracted and clear, dreams become reveries and

daytime reveries have been replaced by dreams

still of the morning’s delight, i welcome the warmth of

the yellow-gold ball of light that nurtures with nutrients

the verdant fields and the blooming buds on trees that

are adorned by sounds of an aviary choir celebrating with

their songs, giving rise to the verve of day

so when time arises that dusk’s breath rolls in to

taunt the light of day, the still and quiet within me will sit

outside to welcome the noir of night so as the moon

and stars ascend onto the canvas of the sky, the spirit of

my being will intermingle, thus i with thine…

loving life

lately, as the number of my years have accrued when

now i close mine eyes to coddle that ever so desirous

gentle sleep, my dreams are filled with the faces of those

who no longer walk along beside me amidst the waking day

upon this mundane sojourn

sometimes i feel a joy with their presence surrounding

me again but then sometimes this dream filled journey

brings memories of where angst had garnished our days

with pain and i could feel tears run down my face with mine

eyes still closed as my head lay on the pillow

but then when the morning’s tug awakens me with the sound

of a choir of Cardinals and Robins, Sparrows and Blue Jays

singing my favorite tunes, while the waft of a lilac bush just

outside my open window in Spring, fills my room and

mine eyes open to a loveliest vision of my love laying

next to me and my canine children at my feet

love fills my heart, sates my soul and until my last breath

i shall cherish the nocturn dreams and daytime reveries,

shall love life for all its worth

rainbows and rains of May

May, i welcomed you as always, celebrating

your bringing the rain that blooms your attire

and with the Sun warm and tender appear

your bonnet of rainbows

although you began with gray clouds and that

not only saturated the streets and verdant

fields but darkened with shadows the state

of my heart and soul

my love and partner in life began infusion

treatments for her infirmity and so you,

May with your gray clouds, was not all

sweet showers, rainbows and flowers

our hearts are heavy with angst but this

does harken within us both to be attuned

to the value of life when calm and peaceful

moments touch our days in May

...moment to moment, breath to breath

daffodils, lilies and the waft of budding roses and the lilac as

Spring has sprung whilst the rains shower the now verdant

fields of long grass and cuddling wild flowers

the freshness of the morning and the dusk is most evident

and so my day begins with spring in my step of sharing this

day’s beginning with my love

life has recently dealt us with a metaphor of gray but with

this refreshing beginning of Spring we will gently walk amidst

the daffodils and lilies and smell the wonder of roses and lilac

Avril's bittersweet

wishing that she sees only

the calm of love in mine eyes

and not the tears behind this

smile

bittersweet, this week as we celebrated

the day ‘mamasita’ gave birth to me

but on this day, also, a few years back

she passed away

yesterday, my heart was swallowed into

an abyss of sadness when our oncologist

told my love, my wife, that we now have a

battle in our hands

but i shall harken that smile upon my face

and lay upon her kisses and a warm embrace

yet alone, in silence, my tears will flow

listening to my heart beat

when listening to my heart beat,

sometimes i think i hear an echo

from its chambers, an emptiness

yet resounding with anguish and

sorrow of days with grey clouds

hovering o’er

my spirit of positive hope, though, is

sustained with the will to thrive amidst

voices filled with vitriol and hate

and i am committed to share and remind

others that their choice of hope and

change must abide in their spirit

listen to the voice of our children and, also,

one in history who took on this challenge

marching on a bridge …’we shall overcome’

my gentle breeze

we may be in a different room

a different space in our abode

when i hear her endearing laugh,

i can see her in my mind, her soft

and gentle face, her smiling

eyes

she’s like a lily in a lily patch

or a daisy in a meadow where  

a subtle breeze doth blow and they

dance and sway like ripples in the sea

soothing whatever longings there

may be

when she lies next to me and i turn

to look at her, a warmth and calm comes

o’er me as i see the kindness of her face

that from whence mine eyes first lay upon

hers did see, that which made my spirit dance

and my heart sing

thus, we’ve walked together for many

a day and years sharing joys and travails,  

and now life’s slowing days with aches and

wrinkles our hair of gray blows in that gentle

breeze whilst our smiles with each other’s

memories, dance