freedom of the heart

 

~the tears i shed are not just for me but for all of you who have grief and pain inside but don't know how to release it. it is said that when the heart hurts and it speaks to the mind, they come together without regards to time and like the clouds that form above the seas, they soar then dissipate into an ocean of tears called rain~

marellano

                                                                                    

i whispered in the dark, to the night~

 

                                                                         

i whispered in the dark, to the night~

‘will you tell me if i close mine eyes they

will open when the sunrays bring the

morning’s delight, piercing the clouds

and branches and leaves of trees, that

mine ears will hear the cardinal sing while

the squirls stand upright waiting for me

to lay down peanuts, as always i do’

the silence of the noir of night speaks

to me, saying ‘i cannot assure you of this,

for i do not hold your spirit in my hand,

but in that i am the dark of the universe,

i do know that if you have rendered this

within, to be the case, then you will see

and hear this, again’

i wish for this again

 

am i alone, when walking about in these now diurnal days,

with the feeling that all around me seems to be a dusting of

a nebulous cloud where nothing is clear, whether by sight

or by sound, all is darkened by casted shadows of uncaring

souls and the hurtful vitriol harkening from their voices

where once there were sparks of joy, inspiration, and hope

evincing from shadows cast on shady days and neighbor ladies

were outside on lawns sharing turnips for tomatoes, potatoes

for lettuce, whilst their children played together and fathers

shared a beer as the waft from the kitchen stoves pervade

 

dusk would arrive quietly and the lights from abodes would

ornament the streets as the moon would begin to light the

sky coming from the reflection of the sun dawning its restful

sleep onto the crimson horizon and one could see little twinkles

of flickering stars coming out to play in the noir of night

 

this delight of calm and peace, a setting where the days’ work

was arduous but then the evenings’ rest comes as mom and

dads sat next to each other on sofas and the children now with

eyes closed lay their heads on pillows in bed with bellies sated,

and tranquility sets in, steals from the busy of the day  

 ~if you did not see me standing underneath the sky, the moon, the tree, on the verdant canvas with earth's quenching water, it is because we are 'one'~

`                                                                            

joy of another day

i welcome that mine eyes opened this

day, my breath is deep and my heart

still beats, so i shall embrace this morn

while in my ear i hear the birds song

waking today says to me that my doings

here on earth are still welcome and so

i shall sing, with the birds, for all to hear,

that my words to my writ will be read

in that i have awaken another day fills

my heart with joy, lifts my spirit, and so

it dances knowing that this will be a day,

for me, one of new beginnings

i shall not forsake this privilege, this gift

and i will smile at the sun, feel the breeze

on my face, walk on river’s banks and sit

underneath a tree to listen to its wisdom

i shall then wander back to my abode to

cook a meal for my wife and me that should

sate, go and sit with my arm around her

her, whispering in her ear what my heart feels

how it is filled with love for her, our little poodle

laying at our feet, as i lift to read the book 'The

Key to Immortality' as she closes her eyes, her head

resting on my shoulder

i stare at the pages, not able to read but to

ruminate upon this gentle moment of how the

simplicity of this day fills my heart with joy and

wish that this could be shared by all

in the still of the night

~in the still of the night when i lie to rest and lay my head upon Nature's verdant dress and my diurnal reveries will transform into nocturnal dreams, i wish to feel upon my cheek the kisses of Moon beams while my spirit dances on~

 

 

i am here, still

                                                               

i close mine eyes to try to sleep

but my thoughts run and run

whilst if they must i try to focus

in the present but they always

seem to reflect upon the past

 

then because they do not wish

to rest, to bring dreams of lilies,

daffodils and verdant fields, they

come juxtaposed of faces, smiles

and tears, those from yesteryear

 

is it because they wish to speak

to me once more, letting me know

they’re okay, they’re still present

for my heart and spirit still to touch,

they are with me, are near, are here

 

i wish them well and glad to hear

but my world is still with my loved

ones in the present to hold their

hand, to kiss their cheek and feel

a warm embrace, their arms in mine

 

when i open mine eyes, her face

laying next to mine and she opens

hers, we greet with smiles then our

lips touch gently, she asks ‘did you

sleep well’, i say ‘yes, i am here’

...the light i shine upon you to give you light in the noir of night

does not come from me but it is the light given to me

from our friend the sun and so i share it with you,

it is called 'giving', remember this

 

~waiting to release the music within~

if you wish to send me a joyful greeting, i would appreciate it

before or after these holidays because then i’ll know it’s sincere

and for me not because of the designated days mandated to

celebrate goodness, kindness and caring. there are many days

of the calendar year that these joyful expressions are appreciated

because of their spontaneous sincerity.

like a piano that sits alone in an empty room that no one knows

it’s there waiting for someone to tickle its ebonies and ivories to

let the music out that it stores within, wanting to express and sharei

ts jubilant music. the baby grand sits there alone waiting for someone

to walk by and spontaneously play the music it awaits to release. 

 ~the eye of heaven watches o'er all

whether it be a flower or a tree,

a bird or a bee, whether a wolf or an eagle,

a dolphin at sea, and yes it watches

o'er all even you and me~

grateful for this moment

 

sitting in the dark, still and quiet in my alone time

and space i hear a soft whisper, turn my head around

but no one else is here, try to discern the words being

said finally, i capture these words being spoken

 

~why am i sitting alone, where did i go wrong, is

this because of the choices i have made, the path

i’ve taken, or are these just words from a song that i

i heard before and had forgotten, should i feel sad

and lonely or should there be joy within me because

i’m still breathing, my hands and feet are intact able

to move, my heart is till beating, i have warmth inside

my abode, my love ones next to me~

 

i realize these are not whispers but my spirit speaking

to me of being more present, grateful, to this pleasure,

and when mine eyes open to the morning sun, listen

to the birds for they will be singing my song

when once i could fly

~when once i had wings, i used to fly with the wind

and see the world, mother nature in its wonderous

view, where the sky above me was azure and the

pastures below where verdant grew, behind me

in the morn or at dusk was a golden hue~…

 

embrace all, the 'one'

 

~do not close your eyes to the transition of season for then your world will not be fulfilled, at minimum, will not expand beyond the narrowness of which you reside. embrace all with your total sensoria and you will better understand the reason for your presence~

the wisdom of a tree

 

`...be open to the elements of the universe not just hereon this

floating earthen ware but in all that surrounds it,

whether it be the sun, the moon, surely the stars of which

we are made from their dust.

listen to the wind for it brings teachings from many parts of

this world not just of the present but from the past and to be

the future. let the ripples of the rivers run through your toes

and fingers, being aware of where they have traversed and that

it's water will empty into the seas where much other wisdom

comes from scales and fins, underwater beings.

be attentive to what tales the eagle brings underneath its wings

and from the lamenting howl of the earth bound wolf that

speaks of how the earth is a living being and it cries for what

man has carelessly done on it and with it.

be kind for this all is a gift...'

my spirit never ceases

 

many days and hours, many miles these legs and

feet have walked and ran upon this earth, and

although now both hips are prosthetic, my feet

are still intact but for a few crooked toes, they

still remember the rivers banks, the mountain and

forest trails, the concrete urban streets and the

paths i’ve walked along side with those that shared

my heart, my love

two weeks ago, i received information that a buddy’s

spirit who shared my youth of years had left the trail

in this mundane sojourn and then two days after I was

told of another childhood friend who also shared the

common playground of youth filled years had also left

my world where we three of same age grew up going to

same schools, similar paths in this temporal abode

my mind is saddened, my heart bruised of their departure

but then soon when i too shall lay my legs down and feet

no longer able to step and walk because it’s time for them

to rest, my heart will remain beating, my mind still will be

racing of juxtaposed thoughts and memories of when you

and i were one, and not until then my spirit upon this earth

will cease dancing but then i shall dance onto eternity

when sitting still

~allow me to sit quiet and still on the lap of your banks listening to the rustling of the breezes through branches and leaves that dress your bonnet. let me look and listen to the ripples of your stream and learn of the stories they can tell of where they've been. and if by chance your feathered friends perched on limbs wish to sing me a tune to sooth my sensorial, then i will have much in my heart, grateful for one more fine day~

marellano 

~if this be what mine eyes witness when they open to the day or dusk, then their lacrimal ducs would fill with tears of joy and a smile would evince upon my face that would reflect the light mine eyes beheld~

marellano

sometimes the dark of night gives me comfort,

the eye that peers through the noir of night

giving light in the stillness, breaking through the

calm of all that is asleep

mine eyes are open while my body rests and my

spirit lies beside all those that have resided before

and those that will have after, for we are all one

and what i ask and wish for is, that when we come

together, when all becomes 'one', we are all bathed

wiht the gentle waters in the sea of Love

marellano

it's healthy to be okay

 ~it's healthy to be ok~

it’s not just okay but it is healthy to admit

when one is sad and hurting both inside and

out

we traverse through this journey called life

and it seems that we’re continuously walking

against the wind

gravity weighs on our muscles and bones, it

tugs at our skin so that eventually it is stretched

like folds on a curtain

the aches and pains on our body become ever

present and the pangs of life are turbulent in our

hearts and minds

but in this attestation, we are our own strong man,

our own savior for it is in our hands, the decision

to mitigate, ameliorate these woes

marellano

 

~like an eagle in the sky, i spread my arms wide

to embrace the beauty of Nature's abode and

maybe, just maybe, i will fly~

marellano

if i could

 

if i could, i would have ceased the things i should,

make healthier choices, play in the wildflowers more,

listen to the river’s ripples closer, the birds and their

songs, watching the trees sway and listening to the

wisdom of the wind as do they while clouds soar o’er,

embrace with mine eyes the grandness of mountains,

watching the animals scurry through and play in forests,

allowing the rain to tickle my skin while smelling the

waft of petrichor, dancing to Mozart, Chopin, to Yo

Yo Ma, to Placido Domingo and other opera greats,

admiring the artworks of Dali, Michelangelo, Da Vinci,

Monet, Monet, the Wyeths, Van Gogh, O’Keefe, etc.  

have read more words on writ by the wise who wished

to share while enriching my taste buds with Nature’s

fruits, be still and quiet, listening more, but of all this,

would have immerse my heart and spirit with the very

fiber makeup of the universes, that being, Love

  

inseparable

if i had wings i would fly day and night,

no matter how far, to be with you

if there was a mountain to climb, no matter

how high, i would hike to the top to put your

hand in mine

if i was on an island and we were oceans apart

i’d ride the waves over to sit on the beach by

your side

 if time came for mine eyes to close for that journey

beyond, do not weep, for my heart and spirit will

always be next to yours

 like the sun to the flower and tree, or the moon to

the stars or the sea, we are the same, you and me

 

dancing one more day

 

crystalline dew drops are clinging on the stems

of daisies and daffodils this crisp morning where

soon the sun will bathe with golden rays on these

droplets, displaying tiny rainbow colors that will

dance in the breezes

 

mine eyes glisten with their reflections and a

smile evinces upon my face, whilst i cherish with

joy this moment of intermingling as the day begins,

a fluttering takes place inside my chest so then my

feet begin dancing onto another day

grateful for this day

 

~thankyou to begin the day~

 

some days i awaken to realize that i am tethered in

this incarnate shell that is grateful for the feel of the

breeze that titillates its covering we call skin, grateful

for the lenses that are recessed in ‘les tete’, capturing

the wonder of birds perched on trees then floating with

ease, the wind beneath their wings, soaring with ease

under the cottons hanging from the azure canvas above,

grateful of the musical sounds mine ears behold when

these feathered friends then begin to marry their voices

with each other for a choir of song

 

and then i realize and feel something beating in my chest,

a soft and gentle cadence of rhythm that seems to heighten

when mine eyes and ears capture the sights and sounds

before me, as the big yellow fiery ball begins to rise from the

horizon and makes all the colors of flora around me ebullient

and warm, they seem to come alive when these golden rays

lay upon their petals allowing them to display their true beauty,

the multitude of floral colors causing a noticeable flutter  

within, my ‘heart’, then followed by a calming peace that

comes o’er the whole of this incarnate shell, of where my

‘being’ resides

 

for today i will rise from this supine state and shall move these

appendages to carry me outside where the aesthetic of Nature

resides and shall walk amidst its bounty of beauty when i will

then raise mine eyes to look up then around, smell the waft

of the day, feel the presence of my being in its midst and be

thankful for this pleasure, be grateful for this gift that so many

have not the fortunes of, and if they do, are not cognizant of it

thus disappearing by ungratefulness or that which is called

death…

 

~thankyou, as mine eyes close to rest~

live art

 

love looking at Nature art, great art, different styles, different eras,

seeing it is most satisfying, a pleasing aesthetic to mine eyes that

conjures thoughts of the artist who painted this beauty, where

were they, what was in their minds, their hearts, to want to try to

capture, replicate Nature’s intrinsic beauty

i walk out of my abode to traverse through pathways where the

wildflowers grow on their canvas, where trees hover o’er and during

Autumn displays their colors, the fauna plays in this garden and though

i am titillated by an artist’s interpretation of Nature, still life on canvas

mine eyes are enraptured by living flora and fauna, by the waft and feel

on my fingertips of sunflower petals, the vocals and visual beauty of

our feathered friends

never ending Love

 

as the latter part of my life begins to encroach upon me

mine eyes begin to diminish in sight and the color of leaves

on trees in Autumn seem to have lost their orange and reds

and mine ears only hear muffled sounds of when once were

a choir of mellifluous sounds from my feathered friends that

would wake me in the morn, and the waft of petrichor when

a slight of drizzling rain would fall from the grey cottons above,

the feel of droplets tickling my face as i look upward where

not too long from now my spirit will reside

 

when all this will soon come to be, i will reside in the wonder

of my memories when Spring brought the nascence of new

budding flora, the birds would sing me songs where mine ears

would listen with joy and the waft of rain fall upon the earth

beneath my feet would cause them to dance and feel of your

touch upon my cheek would always feel like kisses and the love

in all four chambers of my heart would flutter with love, this

will not cease when this incarnate shell lays rest, my spirit will

carry with it unto my next sojourn, the love that never ceases

for it is omnipresent, never ending…

 

beauty of Fall

 

we all await the aesthetic beauty of the Autumn

change of attire, crispness in the air, the brilliance

of the nighttime stars and the white lunar face

lighting up the noir of nocturnal part of day

 

and while we take pleasure in this Nature’s annual

transformation with our fortunes in a state of being

where we can freely walk out of our abode to take 

respite underneath this glorious view, remember those

who cannot

 

whether because of physical incapability or mental

instability from psycho trauma and being alone, not

having the comfort of a ‘home’ to walk out of due to

poverty or worse the portent of bombs raining down

 

we must be grateful of what we have, remember those

whose liberties are not theirs, the families, the children

who, because of someone’s selfish and uncaring actions

cause loss of freedoms and be witness in the beauty of ‘Fall’

 

wisdom of a tree

 

a tree is an extension, an appendage of Mother Earth.

it hovers upward to touch and connect with the clouds,

the sky, to absorb the rays of the sun and drink of the

dropplets of rain coming from the seas and it listens to

the whispers of the wind, the secrets it beholds, thus

when i sit quietly and still at the base of a tree, i become

a receptacle for the wisdom it imparts upon me and it

knows i am willing to become one with it.

i learned of this when i was an eagle in my life before

and i used to soar o'er the finger tips of their limbs as

they lifted high and upward to give praise to the 'One'.

now my spirit lifts skyward when i sit quiet and still at

the base of a tree.

sharing me with you

 

if you read my words, your eyes scan over them,

remember that they came to my fingertips to

display on writ the moments of my being, where

life pricked me, stung my heart, asked my spirit

to become one with my surroundings

 

wherefore are you, to make judgement as good

or bad of what i express in my heart, what i have

gathered when i walked amidst the creation of

my wonder, my wanderings, the moments that

touched me and helped me realize my presence

 

when you read my words, remember they are of

me not of you, not of your moments but those

that were assembled around my being and if

by chance they touch you then embrace them

as yours, for i wrote them to share with you…

 

life's vibrations

when mine ears capture the vibrations of violin strings

or the soft sounds of a classical piece on a guitar, ivories

on a piano sounding the melancholy of the fingers that

are playing them, the vibrations of these frets and bars

capture a moment in time for my spirit to dance and for

my heart to poke the lacrimal ducts of mine eyes to

release tears of joy and lament, the tears of life…

all this is not unlike the leaves’ attire in Nature when first

captured in the Spring where the radiance of the Sun’s rays

lay gently upon their petals in the early morn still wearing

dew, for this aesthetic look is what is its summer wear and

unlike the animal species covers for the cool of Autumn’s

touch, they undress to color the Fall by exposing their true

nature after riding the vibrations of their life’s sojourn…

will someone remember me

 

when my body is laid down to rest and my spirit

is no longer present in this mundane sojourn, will

my thoughts; curiosities, observations, queries, my

hearts’ embracing’s, the resulting tears and joys

dissipate onto a nebulous time and space?

 

will some other mind and spirit recall that which i

have left behind and will someone somewhere sing

the songs i loved, those that i chanted out loud when

in a moment of melancholy or those that spoke words

uplifting to my spirit and made my feet dance?

 

when my earthbound incarnate shell is laid to rest,

will there be someone curious about the words i left

behind in writ and will they then feel in their heart and

spirit the same as i did when my fingertips relayed my

life’s observations, the caring’s of me, within?

 

wherefore, come my ponderings

 

are others sitting quietly in repose as i am

at two in the a.m., as the cicadas and crickets

entertain my still and silence with their chirps

to the otherwise nocturnal stay of where all

other diurnal life is at sleep and at rest?

 

i ponder upon that which became my day and

what of others became of it, having a day

with moments of joy or was it filled with the

angst of life’s sojourn or, so too, with fear

arising from someone else’s nefarious ways?

 

sometimes i wish, knowing that my wishing

does not affect what may become, that the

kindness of the universal spirit dance with

all our spirits so that this floating experiment

in space could witness the kindness of its being

 

this is what i ponder upon while at my early

morning sleepless cogitative state and so i listen

to Nature’s nocturnal terrestrial sounds with my

window ajar and to the soft play of classical music

of Chopin, Debussy, Segovia, Fellini, Brahms,

and, of course, Mozart, etc…

an early morning's reflection

 

a few years now, i have been encumbered by sadness,

more so than prior years before. the days have seemingly

grown shorter in time only because i desire for the angst

and the anguish my heart feels, to cease, therefore i wish

for time to move beyond these moments. my spirit has

lessen its steps of dance in life’s music of verve yet i know

wishing time passing does not assuage the pain of

sadness and sorrow. for life is a mixture, a collage of

lament and joy, and it is this that i know about life, that

i must embrace all that arises, like the sunrise and sunset,

the moon and stars, the wind with its titillating cool breezes,

its refreshing petrichor of drizzling rain, so too, its storms.

 

i cherish these moments left in my life for i am more fortunate

than many for my longevity, for the gatherings of my joys,

and, still, the lucidity of my thoughts, my heart still beats and

loves, and yes, although my steps have become slower and

more careful than carefree, my spirit still is dancing…