When I was ‘little’, when I was ‘young’
I remember feeling and seeing how a girl was so different.
Her hair was longer, her face was prettier,
Her hands were softer and untouchable without permission.
I would stare at a girl with innocent desire and ‘awe’.
She would capture my male curiosity, with her pigtails
With her tiny dress and those wondrous shapely legs.
I was told I could look but don’t touch.
When on occasion, mostly by accident,
my hand would rub up against hers
Or I was aloud to hold her hand in ‘recess’
a game I would insist on playing,
I would reflect upon that moment of touching her hand.
Later when in bed at night, I would dream about that incidental moment.
When older, I would admire girls at a distance because of shyness.
Their hair seemingly more flowing, their faces more distinctively prettier
and their hands, their legs so much more desirable, now lustfully so.
They are distinguishably, visually, so different from my maleness.
Then at a later age I became aware of how their minds and their thoughts
were so different than mine. I think I always knew how distinctively different and untouchable girls were.
Since, I have had the pleasure of having a relationship with some women.
Gently I’ve cuddled a few with their permission. With this experience, I’ve become aware that the uniqueness and differences between male and female is not always ‘black and white’. Some characteristics, some views are discernibly more of a ’gray’ issue.
Although women are prettier, their hands their skin still softer, their legs and now, their lovely breasts have caught my attention, they’ve become so much more lustfully desirable.
My shyness has waned now as a man and my understanding and realization of women is that they have always wanted and desired many of the same things that I, as a ’man’, have. Their minds still discriminate information differently, they interpret most with the sensitivity of emotion, primarily. They are more readily willing to nurture and to choose a passive approach which gives balance to some of the polarized opposites of the ’male’.
In the absence of a male parental presence in my rearing, a mother provided me with that nutriment, nurturing, the emotional, the passive approach as an alternative to male aggression. I am fortunate to have been exposed to the balance of male-female, Yin/Yang, in the interpretation of life. I appreciate and cherish my female partner. I still, even in my older years, when my eyes capture their beauty, I see them as I did in my youthful innocence with that romantic appreciation
