Thursday, July 15, 2021

my insatiable spirit

 my spirit is insatiable, mine eyes never tired of

Nature’s intrinsic smile, my sensoria of smell,

touch and taste are never sated even as my time

for nocturnal rest arrives as my spirit remains

awake, heightened with delight by dreams


and like the tree and flower who remain awake 

when all else are asleep, to embrace moon beams

as they do sunrays, for rivers still run and the ocean 

tides still ebb and rise under the noir of night with 

glistening energy from reflections of glittering stars


emptiness of loss

when a flower sleeps at the end of its season,

a bird flies o’er or a cloud soars by, we assume

the flower will grow next spring, that another

cloud will soar by and the bird will come back

to perch on the limb of a maple or oak


but when we lose a love one to heaven, the

loss leaves us so empty, we wish to see their face

one more time but we know this not to be, though

deep in our hearts and in our minds, we keep them

alive, hold onto the memory of their smile


we must shed tears from the depth of our soul,

not lose sight of their face, remembering their 

gentle touch, how smooth and soft their skin, waft

of their hair, how deeply we loved and our hearts

feeling the beat of each other’s in a warm embrace.


This is dedicated to the nine who lost their lives in

the tragic helicopter crash, to the Bryant family,

to Kobe and Gianna and, also, in memory of those

who were also in the helicopter and tragically

lost their lives. 


before

 

before these bags underneath mine eyes,

the wrinkles and the folds on my brow

 

before my two prosthetics, my displaced

shoulder and my broken digits on hands

and toes

 

before my shaggy white beard, the sparse

hair on my head covering where there is none

 

before the many days, months and years that

have passed me by, i was naïve, innocent,

i was young

 

and now i sit here, grateful for all this time,

this gift of life, mostly that i found you, my love

 

 

Sunday, July 11, 2021

must love more

 A sudden absence of something or someone we cherished and an unforgivable amount of time was spent taking it or them for granted. A sudden absence, manifesting in a gasp, a deep grasp for air to breathe, an abysmal void, then, an unrelenting sadness.

We try to be 'strong' not for ourselves but for those that we care about that are also survivors of the painful loss and sudden absence. We can assuage the impact of our personal subjective and individual pain by leaning on each other, by sharing...

Behind this smile are many tears and to this end, we must love more.

gentle beginnings of the day

when my eyelids open this morn

does not mean i had been asleep

for my spirit never does nor does

my breath that breathes as the

wind blows and moon beams give

light to the night

 

the beating heart in me ceases not

for now and until it has walked on

the pathway that love has, it shall

beat in rhythm with the vibrations

of life for love never ceases to be

 

the aviary choir will awaken from

their nocturnal rest those who sleep

and excite the verve within to greet

the gentle beginnings of the day


Tuesday, June 29, 2021

empathic

 

there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t lament

for the pain, anguish and sadness of someone else

 

sometimes tears just begin to trickle down my cheeks

and not always do i recognize from whence and why

 

being an empathic individual is sometimes a burden

but i do not regret my heart, my caring

 

someday, those of us who are of the like, will change

the world for the better

 

a bovine accepts its journey, a foul, a fish, a caterpillar into

a butterfly, a canine, an eagle, all know of their journey

 

we, humans, still question why and for what reason

we exist in this mundane sojourn

 

we do have a purpose, if only but an open hand, a piece of

bread, a smile...

Sunday, June 27, 2021

today i am grateful

 

today i saw a bird whose wing was injured,

t’was rustling about couldn’t get off the ground

 

saw my neighbors canine child that couldn’t walk

for neuropathy has stolen his gate

 

a child being pushed in a wheelchair stroller by mom,

child’s hand curled like a claw, neck and head bent

 

an elderly woman shuffling her feet with a walker,

and i opened and held the store door open for her

 

as i was driving home, went passed a graveyard, noticed

a young lady sitting at a head stone, a U.S. flag draped

 

made it home this day, sat at the base of my maple tree,

 pondered, wherefore is my heart and spirit not to be grateful

 

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

love does not wane

the subject of your love is fleeting

only because all things mundane are

transitory, although, love itself is eternal,

it is ever-present and is not a possession

of any one thus it does not wane, for it

 is the intrinsic make up of all, the ’one’ 

Thursday, June 10, 2021

will i be remembered and carry on

 

i am in the midst of my introspection and

 reiteration of my ‘being’, my heart my spirit,

 what will the impact of my presence be and

be in relation of  this worlds sojourn

 

what of, when i befriend by my whistling with

the birds on trees, when i give the squirrel

peanuts and smell the waft of a wildflower

while gently touching its petals without felling

 

when i walk by a mother and child and i

smile at them and they smile back at me,

so that this friendly gesture will hopefully

make pleasant their day?

 

and as i take a stroll to find a tree to sit at

its rooted base, i lean against its trunk for

support while i lower mine to sit for a quiet

 pondering of all this

 

and when i pass onto my next sojourn, will

my intentions of my smile, my touch, whistling

with the birds be remembered ‘here’ and will

this carry on to my next transcending journey?

 

a smile and a tear

when the day becomes night

from the light to the black

and the smile that once was

now turns to a flow of tears

 

and the heart beats faster then

abruptly slows to a shallow pace,

it feels of something that no

one else knows

 

once, not too long before,

the spirit was full of life’s verve

and now it has waned to the

slight of tear drops falling

 

but i regret not, for once

not too long ago, a smile did

evince upon my face and for

that moment, i am grateful

 


Friday, June 4, 2021

dream of a smile

finally, i slept last night and i dreamt

that no matter which way i turned to

the faces i’d see all had smiles

 

those, that before, had tears in their eyes

the one’s that had sadness and pain

all of them had smiles

 

the bird whose wings were broken was

now mended and it flew high and sang

with other birds and they formed a choir

 

the wolf who no longer had to fear the

gun of a hunter and the dolphin not afraid

to swim without being ensnared in netting

 

i dreamt that i saw my Mamasita, now

in her heaven, singing and dancing, saying

to me ‘i’m okay, estoy bien, mi hijo’

 

and the greatest dream of them all, that

my love, my wife was cleansed of the big

‘C’ and we smiled together

 

it was nice to sleep again, nice to dream

again and when i awakened next to my love

we opened our eyes and smiled at each other 

Thursday, May 27, 2021

my heart whispers

 

whispers, i hear whispers and i

listen closely but as i look around

i cannot discern from whence they

come or what they’re saying

 

i stand still and quiet, slow my breaths

i can feel my heart beating more rapid

and as iI listen more attentively, i can

now hear it beating

 

as i listen with closer attention, it is

my hearts murmuring sounds that are

the whispers and i begin to understand

what it is whispering

 

‘be passionate of what you choose to

do today, what words you say or put

on writ but whatever you choose, be

kind, say it forcefully, make your words

resounding, but above all, be truthful’

 

this is me

 

i dare not close mine eyes to sleep

for my waking may not come

not that i fear the absence of life

but i wish to breathe and laugh,

witness the sunrise and sunset

for more days to come and listen

to the songbirds, the roar of the sea

 

when i’m asked from whence and

where i came, i ask of them to listen

to the wind that whispers behind me,

look at the grass and daisies at my feet,

listen to the rustling of leaves in trees,

the howling of the wolf, the squeal of

the eagle soaring above, this is me

Friday, May 21, 2021

evil by the human hand

 

there’s a hell that has reared up from the depths

of where the flames of anguish and death reside,

the face of this demon has infested lands where

no human is insulated from its pathogenic grasp

 

of how its permeation into the human population

began we’ve yet to understand but until we do,

we must battle the insidiousness of its intent by

gathering our human resources of mind and tech

 

we must not allow for this interloper’s invasion to

wantonly assail the existence of human beings and 

degradation of our comfort and peace of mind let

alone defeat the existence of human life form

 

this demon, from whence it derived, must be found

and if by chance its inception was by the human hand,

much like the destructive nature of nuclear annihilation 

was deemed necessary to be controlled, nefarious intent

of creating these insidious pathogens must be, also

 

we, as a human life form in this mundane existence, the

proprietor of this floating rock in space, must delineate,

discern, and decide on how best to perpetuate ‘life’, our

primus responsibility, in the context of human morals and

ethics vs scientific experiments antithetical of ‘life’

 

my mention of morals and ethics has nothing to do with the

institution of ‘religion’ and conjured excuse for why life vs death,

spirit vs soul, and also in recognizing that our cognitive capacity

of the human ‘mind’ is also miniscule relative to the expanse of

knowledge in the ‘universes’, our sciences are at best, sparce

happy joy contentment

 

it is written that happiness is the goal in life

and so we search and search, gather and gather

thinking that searching and gathering things and

people, we’ll find and attain happiness

 

in our quest we do find occasional moments of joy

we embrace theses joys and recognize they are

short lived but we, if fortunate, attain many of these

moments and store them in our memory

 

as we trudge along this path of our life’s sojourn,

if happiness is yet to be found, though in our quest,

we have sated our hearts with the memories of this

journey then we become content

 

contentment is the azure of the sky, the gold of the sun,

the verdant fields, the multi-colors of wildflowers, the

tree, the eagle and the wolf, the orca and the dolphin in

the ocean’s dark blue as the moon beams kiss its waves

and waking up to all this

Friday, May 7, 2021

without you

 

like a sunflower who looks up at the morning sun

my spirit also rises to praise that i woke up today

and i shall walk amidst the daisies and the trees

holding hands with my partner, i shall kiss her on

her cheek and whisper in her ear, ‘without you,

the joy i feel today would go unfulfilled, my life

incomplete

life dance

 

life be not naïve, for death in a second will

usurp your presence if it can while awaiting

in the dark, watching to see if your light is

dimming or by chance, if in an instant, it

is switched off

 

life, take not for granted this gift bestowed,

embrace its wonder, twirl it in a dance and if

by happenstance there is another, who love’s

your spirit, take her or him by the hand and

twirl them in your dance

in between

 

in between the sun and the moon,

the light of day and the noir of night

stars glitter with dreams

 

in between the dark and the light

is the still and quiet of space where

calm and peace reside

 

in between the azure sky and the

ocean blue is a horizon where the day

rests and begins

 

in between sadness and happiness is

joy, in between hate and empathy

is love

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Gracias for your company

 

On Sunday, April 25th,  i will have

reached an age in the cusp of a human

timeline that there will be many who

may consider me elderly, but i disavow

this and reflect upon the great sequoias

that stand taller as they grow older,

i recall the grandness of mountains as

they grow larger and tall enough to

tickle the clouds and kiss the sky

 

and so, Sunday the twenty fifth, the

reference date of when i was born

into this mundane existence of earth,

i will look at my reflection in the mirror

and i shall not focus on the folds of skin

of my brow, the wrinkles under mine eyes,

and i will tell myself that these are signs

of a lucky person who, unlike many, who

lived to have seen much, felt much, has

 loved and has been told that i am loved

 

like the sequoia kissing the moon and

stars good night, and the mountain, to

the sun, waves goodnight as it lies down

 behind, i too will lay down this aging body

on Sunday night to rest and dream, so if

i awaken on the following Monday, i will

thank the spirit of eternity for giving me

one more day to prance about like the

young man that i feel in my spirit.

 

thank you for looking into mine eyes and

into my heart, sharing yourselves with the

likes of me…

 

con amor, me!

 

the wonder of life

 

does the flower wonder when it is a bud;

…will i grow to be as radiant as that golden

 sunflower that has all of the sun’s attention and

 the clouds hovering o’er, fawning over its beauty?

 

so too, i ask, when a crimson cardinal perches on

a large arbor oak’s limb does it stand with pride 

that this winged angel visits in its glorious plume

vest, singing to greet the morning gold horizon

 

little do we know of this that is considered only

a human condition but in that i believe love is

the intrinsic fiber of all, then surely would be

shallow of us to think otherwise of the flower,

the cardinal and the tree