light pierces the grey

the darkness of black

defuses into grey and a ray

of light evinces from it which

then gives a nascence to 

moments of joy and in their

gathering, happiness derives

this sometimes short lived when

then we realize our emotions are but 

passions of the heart ascribed distant 
from cerebral snotions warning

of these moments do come at a price

if i could, i would make choices

where my thoughts to accommodate

a smile and my breath becoming 

the oxygen of this happiness as

the warmth of the sun splays 

fulfilling verve to my day

and so when i close my eyes

the darkness will be filled with

dreams of tenderness, a hand in

my hand walking along through

life's sojourn whilst underneath

my naked feet lay jagged stones

heart’s disquiet

one day, the tears i've shared,

the blood of my heart
having spilled upon pages,
my soul having left its scent,
will the eyes of whom
these words intended
lament over having waited
too long to read the words
i so wished to share ? 

maybe posthumously my words

will be gathered, by chance she
will read about my heart and
my soul's disquiet.    

until then i shall go on, continue

marry my heart and my tears with the
words of my soul on pages upon 
pages till ink runs dry and then
i shall scratch with finger nails
on walls, my words, a telling of
my love exceeds the bounds of pages
where it is writ and the lines
of love reside

all will be alright

i lay my body down on the dirt of Earth

to touch wild-flowers born of morning tears
comes a beetle and a tiny toad to greet me
and tell me… all will be alright

roll over on my back to see the tallness of the trees

witness white cotton figurines playing in the sky
an eye of gold makes light the trims on everything
and an avian spirit flies across the horizon blue
looks down at me, its wings write on the clouds
…all will be alright

i call my soul within to gather the good

wash away the tears of sadness that are calling
for me to ride the darkness of an abyss
my heart feels a pain of ugly that my eyes have seen
a soulful embrace envelops me, whispers…all will be alright

i rise and stand before the day

and tell the wind, the sun, come on
let us play,  I wish to dry my tears away
sing the verses of the beetle tiny toad and bird,
let my soul purge the sadness in my heart
…all will be alright

aging gracefully

in the Spring

a flower sprouts and blooms
to the colors of Nature’s dress
then sleeps in the Autumn’s nest

the fish jump and spawn,

hummingbirds hum to the tune of
warming days then in the Fall
the fish swim away and the humming
rests for another warm day

but a tree, seemingly, forever keeps

it’s green of leaves, some with
the waft of pine, the crimson
of cherry blossoms or the tears of
weeping willow limbs who splay
upon the azure summer sky

while in autumn its leaves display

their russet dress with golden trim,
in the cold of a snowy Winter’s day
it dresses in a veil of white, giving
a glint of light to a starry night’s array

all seem short-lived but a tree stands

tall and sturdy withstanding angry stormy
rains while in the winter it holds its own
as the blizzard winds blow, stands
strong and steady in its graceful ascent

soulfully standing in observation and care

for the terrestrials who lean on him and his
avian friends who nest on his limbs and he
nurtures the owl, the cicada, the eagle,
the wolf, imparts the wisdom of longevity

like a tree, this once tall towering man no longer

able to walk, we came to see and to hug
his body and wisdom soon to pass onto his other
journey to walk once again hand in hand with his
partner whose new journey arrived a few weeks
earlier, telling him... i will see you soon

a ministry he's preached from a pulpit,

that speaks to a message written in a book he 
cherishes, imparting the wisdom of its words
to the people of his gatherings

like a tree, he stood tall and strong

sometimes swaying to the winds ever changing
directions but standing steadfast on his platform

he preached the wisdom of these words

for many suns and moons of Sundays
in the calm of day and night or thunderous storms
of Spring, in the colors of the Fall, the white of deep
Winter’s snow and its angered blizzard winds

and like a tree, he's observed a flower bloom and

later to lay down to sleep, witness the eagle feed
her eaglets in their nest, a tired wolf now lays down  
to rest upon its rooted feet and listens to whispers
of the wind...a wisdom writ in pages of the universe

upon his shoulder, i lay my hand to let him know,

now the time has come for parting. he looks up
at me from his wheel chair, his hallowed eyes stare
up at me, he says, “you’re telling me goodbye?”
“no, i’m coming back to see you soon” i choke to say
“of course. we’ll see each other soon”, he feigned in
a soft voice while lowering his eyes

she, my wife, his daughter kisses him on his cheek

i take her hand in mine as we slowly walk away
with our tears

the 'now'

pondering from whence i came
yes, mother’s uterine canal
but what about the seed
the egg from life’s very beginnings ?

did I begin from a thought

conceived of a feeling, a notion,
from a star in all its
chaos and commotion ?

did my spirit, my soul travel

through a multitude of universes,
of eleven dimensions, traversing
on the string theories of aberrations ?

when my body crumbles to the ground
and the breezes swirl me all around
ride the eddy of the wind onto the sky 
then up, up hitching a ride into space

there the dark energy shall carry me

to a place where once my incarnate
being was but star dust to be assembled
into me but with the universe at my feet

then i open my eyelids from this reverie

back to embrace this reality, seeing flowers,
the grass, the trees, the sky and breathe in
this day’s warming breeze, i cease pondering
for love surrounds me and so i cherish the ‘now’

you in my eyes

come closer

look into my eyes you'll see
the jonquils of Spring
a grand old oak tree and
a robin and cardinal flying free

deep inside me you will see

your soul, the beauty of your face
the salient nature of your skin
on your cheeks and gentle kisses
of your lips

take a little more time, look deeper

and you’ll see the tears
when you had pain, when you
felt a loneliness in the gray
of a stormy rain

keep looking inside me you'll notice

love for those scared, those hurting
with the pain of loss for love ones
and a flood of tears, the angst
of aging too soon, the waning of years

my wish is that you will see

when you peer into my eyes,
my love for you never growing old
together your soul and mine residing
with eternity in the oracle of time


* dedicated to my lovely wife on this day of our ninth wedding anniversary
    and our thirtieth year in each other's embrace 

is it me you want

i see you from afar

coming toward me

a light emits from you

a warm breeze blows gently

like a pastoral carpet

is laid down before you

nearer, nearer you come

my heart begins to applaud

with soft hands sweat beads in

their palms and my nose flares

capturing the essence of you

inside me a quiet voice

asks…am i ready for you…

will our souls dance in sync,

will we bathe in love

till days on end

i am touched by this,

in your embrace, left resting  

underneath stars and moon

with tears that glisten in the dark

until the sun awakens me

and i lie alone in the heat

…i shall not walk or run

toward you !

will stand here quietly

to see if it is me

you’re coming for

house of stone

when young, eyes had yet to see

a heart yet to feel his own love

the world of flowers and midnight stars,

a moon that smiles, a sun that wakes him

to warm his day, all in naïveté

life comes and his path now chosen,

has swam in a river and in depths of an ocean,

his body is now touched by gentleness,

a heart made flutter from a kiss

and a warm embrace

these eyes now have peered into a soul

of another who gives selflessly,

who smells like Nature’s spring,

hair that flows like the river he has swum,

a smile wider than the moon,

warmer than the sun

a heart that’s been pierced by love

where naiveté once lived, now far away

but still where pansies and daisies dance and

the lamb and deer walk together caring less

of what others think and life and love

share with them the same pathway

many nights of moons and stars,

days of suns and rains, some storms,

Springs and Winters have come and gone,

they’ve held each other tight through

pains and loss for these are the

building stones of their home 

forest from the trees

my wanderings have gone from wonderment

to befuddlement

my eyes never closed, just entered into a forest

of a disconcerting maze

when once my eyes saw the ocean blue and

the sky kiss its cheek

and the dove and the seagull dance in and out

of cotton bonnets

saw humpbacks chased by dolphins flying o’er the sea

in a glee-filled spree

smiled as the wolf howled roaming hunting in sprigs and leaves

amidst grand old Sequoia trees 

and the eagles soar as the salmon spawn

the bears wade to catch their own

birds perched on happy trees that escaped

the denuding blade

my tears feel sadness hearing their screams

my heart holds their pain

those beings standing with uncaring hearts and cold empty

eyes as they hold that sawing blade

so i wander into this tattooed maze hoping to capture 

but a moment of wonder in the eyes of my own species

and maybe, just maybe they’ll see the beauty in the

forest of life, the tree

empath and the caring

whispers among the empath and the caring

hear the cries of suffering, voices of the hungry,
the sick, the lonely, the dying as wailing rises
from those that love them

the hand reaches out but the pain remains

the universe says…too little too late
the heart of the empath and the caring  
swells from tears withheld

the whispering continues…what can we do

and a grand old tree leans down with a leaf
to wipe their tears and with the help
of the wind says…the air i breathe, the water i drink,
my friends on my branches, at my feet, let them fly,
let them play again without fear

so the empath and the caring write a song

raise their voices, no longer whispering, to praise
the secrets of the tree, ask for more to join them
for there is still time, for the universe is kind

she will accompany the lonely, feed the hungry,

look after the sick if all join in to sing the
whisperings of the empath, the caring
the grand old tree

and so i live

and so i live, live on

until that day no more

when breath no longer

feeds my soul

and the touch of love

no longer titillates my skin

until then, kiss these lips

hold my hand

walk along beside me

listen to the wind

see the ripples fold

underneath the spring

my ears shall hear the timbre

of notes played by grand masters

mine eyes to capture the souls

and hearts of words on writ

by Sophocles and Shakespeare

once again, to this, i note

until my feet no longer walk

or my ears not hear the breeze's song,

the waft of your hair i no longer can smell,

your azure eyes i can no longer see or

words from my heart no longer speak

until then i shall live, live on

with no regret 

sun shadow

in a cavern of my mind where roots of wisdom are born

gathers a surfeit of memories of when youth held

my hand tightly and my glass of juice was immortality

every moment was deplete of life’s trepidations  

and there was joy in the freedom of the wind that

filled my lungs as i would run like a deer in its meadow

and the angst of life had not yet laid its heavy arm upon

my shoulders

in this journey walking a step in step with me, t’was

a void in absence of a father's love, an anguishing was

awaiting to touch my soul as my life was assembling

and that emptiness of unrequited love lay dormant

in a chamber of my heart, later to evince like a shadow

cast by the lonely pearl of night but, for now, little was 

known of this, for it was never known

the most i ask and least of life, as Diogenes asked of Alexander:

not to stand in the way of the sun

unrequited life

a tiny wild flower’s lavender petals

soon become dark purple then black
amidst the cold air coming from the north
before my eyes can take pleasure
of its radiance in color and amiss to its verve,
its stem goes limp and bends to rest its
lifeless bud of stamen, stigma and style
on the loam of its berth, earth

jumping, dancing, a white tail doe

runs away as i unintentionally enter
into her field of languishing privacy, though,
not before she turns her head with stern look
telling me of her disdain then off she goes
as i stand there only having wished to witness
her calm of being while she settles to nest
on the field of feed and resting bed of her abode

when young and innocence still filled my days

the distinction of my language, the color of my skin
was brought to light. that i was unlike others 
so friends became too few telling me
i didn’t belong and that is when i learned
to stand on my own. i was fast and i was strong
and mama assured me i did nothing wrong and
her words also helped when, not knowing why papa left
never to come back, leaving mama and us all alone

the cold of winter’s breath lays white frost

upon my feet where once a verdant landscape
now turning to a golden hue just before a linen of snow
covers it from head to toe. it shushes the colorful song
of autumn as the robin takes notice and rides the current
of warm to the eye of a southern sun and i stand here
wondering if i shall ever witness the imaginings of
Van Gogh’s ‘starry night over the Rhone’
or Wyeth’s  ‘Christina’s World’.

will love kiss my heart to match how i have kissed

and dissipate that gray mist which sometimes in my
day causes me to sigh, to cry, lamenting a pain
that needs not be and filling the emptiness with sun,
with moon and stars upon the day, the night
shine your light for me oh spirit of calm and peace
i shall open my arms to embrace the likes of thee ?

the calm after a storm

witnessed the calm after a storm

the flashing lightning only,
no more loud crack of thunder.
the howling gray wind settles
to a soothing swirling breeze
and the leaves that once were
dancing wildly in gusts, along with
the branches they perched upon,
now lay as martyrs at my feet.
my hair unkempt, doth looks primordial

when never before had i witnessed

a storm such as this. filled with fear
and hearted breath, i thought the end was
near of all that i am from my nascence.
a witness to this storm, my heart beats twice,
three times faster than all the days before
of when my life, within, there was innocence 
walking with me in my youthful days of yore
and when hurt and scared would tap me on my
shoulder, a maternal arm would gently rest 
upon me to soothe my mournful soul

now witness to the wisdom of age teaches me 

how to ride storms both of Nature’s anger 
and the wrath of life within, having learned 
of how all is in balance in the end;
for without the storm, calm wouldn’t be
without breath there wouldn’t be you and me
and in the presence of fear, breathing deep,
with open eyes, an unclenched fist
and an open heart, comes a balance
bringing joy and warnth of love, near

solace of Nature

amidst the wonder of a tree and flower

a river flowing free at the feet of
a mountain that shades a valley
an eagle soars crown tilted eyeing down
at a daily sustenance flailing about
in the mouth of a bear wading in
a stream and a fawn and doe nibble
on petals splayed throughout the meadow,
lives a heart in pain and anguish as tears
flow because of the anger and hate
displayed by human beings, so, i wait   
for it all to subside if only for a moment   
thus letting the beauty, the solace of Nature’s breath,
be its substitute   

we walk together

you who’ve walked beside me

unknowingly and then behind me,
or you arrived and stood before me
you saw me and did not say hello.
do you remember me?

i saw your eyes when walking by,

smiled at you, you didn’t say hi
you turned your head, looked away
while my fingertips being frozen,
my pants and socks soiled and wet,
under street night lights i am shaking
and afraid, hungry in the light of day

i used to have a coat like yours,

a cap that would cover my ears,
dry clean socks and shoes,
a warm bed, a roof over my head but
without notice, life took me by surprise,
lost my children, lost my wife

i’ll be here alone with nostalgia at night,

and reveries by day keep me sane distract
my body in pain yet still .freedom of breath
so if you hear my heart while walking by
and don't turn your eyes away from me
i will still share with you a smile for we
will have ridden this wave of life till death

choosing you

sunrises i have witnessed

clouds soaring by
raindrops trickling upon my face
the pleasurable waft of flowers
all comes back to me
when i think of you

in this short spell of time

my  heart has felt a love
like no other much like a book
read from cover to cover
with its absence and its pain
reading the chapter about love
again and again so within me
to always remain

being near the end of my path

i choose these thoughts
when love kissed my cheek
warmth embracing my heart
walking amidst nature’s park
letting the wind part our hair
hand in hand our souls never to part

 

missing you

the night is long, sleep a callous foe
days come and they go
seems my heart and my breath
now partake but without care

use to hear the songs of birds

in my morning wakening
and watch the sun rays pierce
through finger tips of trees

let the breezes kiss my cheek

the grasses tickle between my toes
pigeons, squirrels eat from my hand
mariposas on my shoulders land

love once did take my hand

and like frivolity in story books 
romance spieled from lovers mouths  
and i'd walk in air and in the clouds

so now that you have gone

i wish for light of day to hurry by
that maybe i luck to sleep and
steal a dream of when your head
would lay gently upon my heart
 
 

the world goes on

a long stem daisy

bows to the weight of the rain
next to it stands a sturdy lily
the daisy leans against it
the lily doesn’t mind

an indigent lies on the sidewalk

next to him a mutt of many breeds  
does not bemoan the place or space
he shares, unconditionally, with his friend
watching people just walk by, happenstance 
that's why there they lie but not alone

a child seen running down a dirt street

flailing her arms in screams of cry
cloths torn and, charred, skin burned
behind her parents lie face down
amidst the remnants where but this 
morn they sat together eating morsels

in the fields the rain has ceased

the daisy now stands erect trying to
reach for the sun, the sturdy lily and
its purple peddles praise the sky as
the wind sways them to and fro
this is how the day will go 

you and me

when i asked if you would kiss me

it was not upon my brow or cheek
but on my lips where i am most
sensitive and where that kiss belongs
of you and me

when i asked if you loved me

it was not about how i walked
or ran or how i looked when clean
and groomed but of the heart belonging
of you and me

and when i asked of when i’m gone

will you in spirit hold my hand and kiss
my picture on your mantle, will you
remember that warm embrace
of you and me