Loves Despair

Love had been

unattainable
for so long

it had always

avoided me
hid in shadows

I had known of it

from books I’d read
stories I’d been told

songs I would hear

spoke of it
in the air

sometimes I thought

I had seen it
In a sunrise

when birds would

preen each other
and mothers
would feed their pups

but through this

all happening before
my eyes my heart
would flutter
yet not understand

until that day

you walked in front
of me in a moment
of my despair
you smiled and
took my hand
your touch interrupted
my Hearts beat
then I understood
Love begins
with care

 

 

Oh night

Oh, night,

you force me to dream
those dreams of nocturnes
pose the queries
where no answers
are to be found

you gather together

my hopes and wishes
knowing they’re
only a tease
but they give me joy
if only for a little while

I fly with the birds

In and out of clouds
the wind tickling
the naked of my
chest and legs
unabashed
through nebulous
colors in rainbows

 I soar looking down

at faces from the past
and those who held
my hand as if we all
were together again
without worries
without cares

Oh night,

when I close my eyes
for you ironically
I see the light
you sometimes cause me
to ponder… what would it
be like
to not open my eyes

  

Father's Day

In the wake of this celebration,
I toast to you who truly appreciate
the meaning of Father’s day

Not to change the course of history

but I shall celebrate once more
the figure that took its place
filling the role of loving parent

She did not show me how

to change a tire or oil
or catch a baseball in a glove
or build my muscles by picking
hundred pound weights
above my head

She taught me how to roll
the flour for tortillas and 
make aroz con pollo

she taught me that to sing
while cooking would make
the food taste better

How to wash dishes

and clean the house
how to iron my own
shirts and pants
to be thankful for what we have,
before I’d go to bed

I lost out on 'old school' traditions

of fathers showing sons what’s
underneath the hood  but 
in lieu, the time we'd share
a loving single Mothers care

she fulfilled both roles
of parenting came to watch me
play my sports, with hugs
a plenty when I'd get hurt.
she instilled in me a great
appreciation, in the absence
of a father figure,
a true parents worth

Happy Father’s Day, Mother

I Remember

I remember:

this large grandiose mountain

standing hovering over our little house
at the end of our dirt road
in Torreon, Coahuila Mexico

the adobe house with an open

roof in the middle courtyard of my abuelito’s
casa where mamasita and us kids stayed
after papa abandoned us

sleeping on a concrete floor, roofless courtyard,

in the middle of my grandparents house
grandma would keep her chickens, hens
and a couple of roosters

at night I’d lay looking up at the sky

admiring the twinkling stars
I could see the tip of this mountain
kissing the moon and tantalizing the stars

ten years pass, I’m laying in the back yard

now at Mamasitas house in Northern Indiana
looking up at the stars and noticing they’re
the same one’s I witnessed in Mexico
except two new ones, probably my abuelitos,
having joined to share the night sky’s opus

I Remember:

last night I laid out in my patio

looking up at this concert of twinkling
and noticed a star bristling brighter than
all the rest, I think it was mamasita winking at me

my love and I have no biologic children

so I wonder sometime in the future will
someone look up at the dazzling night sky
and notice my wife smiling and
me winking down at them?

lilacs in the field

the heart shatters

wer’st you not
to stay

after so much

laughter
after so much
play

we ran through

lilacs in the field
while the wheat
being tilled
we dared to lay
there still

the red blood sky

appeared and we
laid there waiting
for its sun dressed kiln

didn’t have cares to worry

only sweat beads
from our brow
two clammy little hands
clenched together
we’d be friends forever

no one or anything
would part our hearts
much like Moses
with the Egyptians
and the seas

the calm and peace

we gathered in those moments
would tether us forever
even in this after life
where your token’s
now being spent

no one can separate

our two hearts
or send our souls
asunder
we lay there, still,
with the lilacs
in the field

safe place

Mama Zen's request
53 words of a

safe place:

large Oak

limbs and fingers
stretch wide
watching over
the space where Mamas
house once stood
I sit in lotus
at its base
the Oak and me
face to face
close my eyes
slowly breathe in deep
Ohm Ohm Ohm
release my being
no longer me
I am the tree
I can see


 

innocent smile

if I could but see

one more time
the light that met my eyes
when first they opened
as I lay my head
upon mother’s bosom

on that day of my birth

when warmth radiated
upon my face
with ebullient joy
seeing innocent smiles
of those hovering
over me  

it was not the light

of the Sun or
of the day but
the light emitting
from the aura
of love

might this be the light

seen in the mind’s eye
when life’s breath
ceases in the incarnate
being and its soul
is touched by
the universal spirit

if this be it

then I wish to be
embraced by this
light and once more
feel the warmth
of its smile

eyes in dark abyss

the eyes dark and distant

cold and untouchable
they’ve seen the heinous
the worst of man
bring not only death
to another but imposing
pain

they severed limbs

but before this
they make them scream
eyes welt with tears
beg for a kind reprieve
but they know never
will they see again
and hold their love ones

the fires of hell

explode wantonly about
the mind and heart
has succumb to
the shards of fear
how long a life time
is a year

the mind has blackened

stored and compartmentalized
what the eyes have seen
even by ones own hand
never to speak of it
to oneself again let alone
to any other 
back at home 

and life trickles by

in minutes and hours
days/nights become indiscernible  
when eyes have entered
in that black abyss
and others can only see
their reflection because
they can’t see in

  

Welcome Home Soldiers back from Hell

night to day

I embrace thee

for the spirit
of the night
has released me
to the day

walk along a path

many have before me
not of earthen soil
but in time and space
with a soul
of human race

where and how

my destiny unfolds
but with meager
farthings to behold
until there’s love
within my heart
my soul
my eyes shan’t open
nor rest shall come
I am told

I welcome thee

spirit of the day
where the foals  
in your arms,
the wind, all
come out to play

until the days longings

brush back my hair
to lay my head again
upon the lap of night
I shall not rest
until my heart, my soul
hath given thee
all that I must
dear salient daylight

touch

waste not a minute

or five
of this moment
be alive

 Breath

feel the tips

of your fingers
touch your brow
and your toes

let all the sounds

fill your ears
and your eyes, the day.
let the scents consume
your nose

sense your

heart beat faster
as the wind
teases the tender
of your skin

when the black

of night hides
the day
let them play tag
embrace the verve
of life, within

when possible

extend your hand to
someone especially in
their hour of need
for we’re all part
of this, lets eliminate
the greed 

Blessings be with
you: Moore, OK.

Feliz Dia de Madre's

Esto es para todas mi amigas

En esta casa

todas lindas mujeres

 fueran de hijas

hermanas

senoritas

senoras

pero  

 mas importante

siempre son

Madre’s del mundo

 

con amor!

 

Feliz Dia de Madre

grey

the grey of the day

slows time
thrashes it about
into the throngs
of memories
to yesterdays

this day grows slow

the grey
cools the
balmy May wind
swirling it playfully
by the Sun's rays

I do not whine

or complain,
for this grey
gently replaces
les noir of my hair
that has stored the days
of yesteryear

a grey veil

shall cover my eyes
from the rainbows
of my youth
but under this cover of grey
lie the wondrous colors
of many a sunny day

 ‘…lift not the painted veil

which those who live,
call life’
Percy Bysshe Shelley

the dreamer

a dreamer is the creator

of life

a smile evinces

from a dream filled mind

the eyes that sparkle

is not from the reflection
of the stars but from
the dream within

 the heart flutters

from romance
created in the dreamers heart

he dreams of her

her of him
the feeling surreal
but true

exchange of an empathetic hand

comes from a dreamers wish
that all be calm

 a community revels

in the good that’s come
of the day
tired of anguish and sorrow
they stand and applaud
in the streets

love is a notion

from the dreams
of a dreamer

Healing

mellifluous, her voice in song
still pleasure the ears
to which she gave birth

her picture sits quietly
on her private alter
our two souls sit
dangling legs on the mantle

how salivating and wonderful
my stomach recalls
her homemade tortillas,
arose con pollo

soulfully come together
on my birthday ironically
on the numeric same day
of her passing

this coincidence brings
our two souls closer
where life and death
is joined by love

Sated Crescent Moon

 the Crescent Moon

     waits knowing soon
          while consuming light
               it will be full

                          the Sea it waves

                            at the Moon
                            with joy for sharing
                                its feed of light

                                             the Owl perched

                                          with eyes wide open
                                             observes the wisdom
                                               of this gathering

                                                          while my eyes sleep
                                                the Moon beams
                                               kiss the Sea
                                             rhe starlet’s glitter
                                            with glee

                                                when I wake
                                       I shall revel
                                     knowing there was
                                   Love goings on

                                     dawning of the Sun

                             smiles in brilliant rays
                          sharing with the Day
                       as it did sating the
                     Crescent Moon

to open eyes, ears, and hearts

 

a sitting stone on the river’s bank

running white caps over pebbles,
leaves and branches
a little spotted toad clears its water drenched eyes
lifts its head up o’er to stare my way

who are you and why did you come,

he asks
I can only smile then look away
into my own reverie stream
where my night time dreams
had left me

there’s a calming in my soul

that has entered,
a day ago forlorn
this moment now
it’s at rest

today, those who sneered

at me yesterday because
of my brown skin,
at least appreciate my food
my drink

without looking I can sense

the little toad still staring
my way
it understands that I know
what it is to be
a little toad most days
he now smiles and
we both stare into the stream

second chance

I sit still on this stump soon

to be fodder for Mother earth
birds perch next to me
a squirrel eats the seed from my hand
gaggle of geese waddle near me
a doe and fawn still hide behind the brush
chewing their flora with one eye watching me
the sun lays a soft veil upon my face
and the wind whistles the days tune

when I used to run and yell

I would call attention to myself
then little would approach
animals scurried away
stares would come my way
and human vanity was embraced
blinding me of things that really mattered
and of those who really cared

life ran fast away

my eyes forgot to look,
my ears did not hear,
roses alluded my smell
feel of grass and cool stream water
were somewhat remiss and my heart
gave little and so little was returned

but as I sit here, still,

hearken my memories in reverie
of those who extended their hand
a little of their heart
not judging me on my stature
or comparing my diminished
wordsmith skill set my inability to
paint just the right hue of blue
choosing free verse in lieu
of rhythm, meter and rhyme 

a quiet solitude
in Mother Nature's embrace
this is what I choose for now
I shall depart covered
with the wrappings of life
and the gift bared, called Love,
providing me with a second chance

rhythm and time

enter into my reverie

you who hath taken
hold of my heart tenfold

forgive me for my stepping on thy toes

but we’ve danced the night through
and we've tired and callous feet

we began our steps in rythm

and synchrony with your head
laid gently on my shoulder

the warmth of your breath

giving pleasure to the nape
of my neck as we glide without care

the scent of lilac in the air

could have only come from the
flowing strands of your hair

it has been a tender calling

when entwined in each others arms
as we smirk upon the face of time

the music no longer
can I hear

in my aging ear
but we dance on

insulated home

climbed out from underneath

fresh washed cotton sheets
warmth and surreal dreams
filled my comforted nights sleep

awaken by radio waves full with

cries from victims of hellish noise
from firecracker sounds and whaling
sirens from vehicles flashing
red, white and blue lights 

one demon still roams amidst us,
I am told, he's sought for causing

a violent early death of a child,
a young lady and a student
visiting our 'welcoming lady liberty'

if and when they capture him,

this dead soul swallowed by a demon,
will then my soul be calmed and secure
in this insulated island nation?

I now huddle back underneath

my security Charlie blanket
envied by ostriches in sand
all is well again no more demons
I cover my mirrors 

conductors beat

in the beginning

your smile stood
next to the Sun
your whispers
floated in the breeze
your touch made
the pedals of a lily
envious
your heart beat
conducted the
grand symphony

time has quietly

gathered a cloud
in the face of the Sun
the wind has whirled
separating young leaves
from their birth place
and the lilies have gone
into a nocturnal sleep
and still I am
sitting in the first seat
awaiting your batons
lead of my hearts beat