how many more ‘I’m sorry’ do i have left in me,
more important is how many more will you accept?
you accept that i am ‘human’ with many foibles
but will your heart begin to wane of forgiveness?
my love for you is endless and when i make mistakes
that hurt you, i am less likely to forgive myself than you
of me
if some day my mind will understand my heart and visa
versa, it will show that of all my human foibles, my greatest
is
the unrelenting ‘sorry’, but not of the love i have for you
what must i do to escape from the tethers of my vices, so
that my spirit can dance without restraints or constraints,
my heart can love without obstruction and my chi, will
and shall witness peace and calm?
i am fond of living, love the morning sunrises, love the
Moon that glows with mystery and the stars tickling
the noir of the night sky causing crickets to chirp, cicadas
being relentless in piercing the silence of sleep
and as i sit in my chosen corner, in the dark, alone with
thoughts of who i am, what i have become why i’m here, who
shares of this love in my heart and if the gift of tomorrow
arrives once more in spite of my human foibles, will i still
be loved?
Love, i wish to breathe you with every breath
i take and scale life’s fascia with your presence
when i begin to feel the angst and see the
careless and wanton slings of pain and hurt
man thrusts upon each other.
do not desert me, love, but grab me, embrace me
with your strength from the beginning of the day
when the sun first shines light into mine eyes and
the dusk brings forth and clears the day for a smiling
moon that's on its way bringing along with flickering
friends of the of the night sky whilst my eyelids begin
to wave hello to the reveries and dreams of sleep.
so lay here next to me, oh love, and hold tight my soul
until i wake so when first mine eyes open, they will
be witness to the beauty of nature’s hand and the
feeling of you caressing my heart
The cool in the first days of September are made
more memorable when the sounds of crickets pierce
the silence of nocturnal sleep of all that is life through
an open window and through the noir of night until
this morning’s delight
and i wait till the horizon’s light of a rising sun ascends
to the transitioning chorus of cardinals, wrens and
robins that remain behind to awaken the day giving
pleasure to my ears and soon my restless eyes
my heart begins to flutter with joy that i am present
amidst all this, one more day, and soon to feel the
warm embrace of my lovely wife followed by a gentle
kiss and the soft greeting of her voice, ‘good morning’
i cherish that i can, one more day, carry my aging mini-
poodle outside, now eighteen almost nineteen, because
she can no longer climb steps, then comes the sound of
little paws from our other mini-poodle scampering down
from the upstairs bedroom where she sleeps with my wife
i am joyful for the dawning of today
my heart hurts and my spirit is injured
i hope that both can recover
if the flower can sleep at the end of its season
and evince as new the next spring
then i should be able to, also
if the sun sets, rests at the end of the day
lets the moon have its stay
then arise from its sleep the next morning
then i should be able to, also
and even if my incarnate being, my body
goes to sleep to rest, to allay its time from
this mundane sojourn, its spirit shall once
again rise, maybe in a transcendent realm
but i should be able to, also
how many more ‘I’m sorry’ do i have left in me,
more important is how many more will you accept?
you accept that i am ‘human’ with many foibles
but will your heart begin to wane of forgiveness?
my love for you is endless and when i make mistakes
that hurt you, i am less likely to forgive myself than you
of me
if some day my mind will understand my heart and visa
versa, it will show that of all my human foibles, my greatest
is
the unrelenting ‘sorry’, but not of unmitigated love i have for
you
when my body will no longer hold me inside
and my feet no longer can walk and dance
my arms are not able to hold you any more
my heart will remember the love i held within
will my soul remember my incarnate being after
it has been set free like the flower to the tree,
the river to the ocean, the moon beams to the sea,
the wind that blows the autumn leaves and like
all of this, will you remember me?
O’ September, i welcome your change of attire from bright and
bold,
to where leaves shall fall from
trees and paint earths canvas of verdant
fields to a sea of browns, rustic red and gold, your
breath will
titillate my skin with some cool by day, by night, cold
your bouquet of flowers will soon drop their pedals, that
shimmied
with morning dew, and sleep at the end of their season, while
Starlings, Cardinals, Robins and Turtle Doves join in a choir
of song giving praise to a crimson horizon but soon to
fly south to a more warming sun
i could see myself wandering, walking about, yet distant is
my mind as to where i am, where i have been and where
i am going
back in the days of my youth, the hours were so long, the
days even longer and the weeks, months and years
seemed forever, as yet, i was wandering, searching for ‘me’
now that more years are behind me than those before me,
i try to slow down the weeks and months by not looking
toward the next moment, the next day or week, yet, the
evincing beauty of Spring flew by and the Summer came
and has too quickly passed
then my eye lids open and i come to the realization that
these
wanderings were not just of my reveries and dreams, but yet,
of my reality and mundane sojourn and time passing me by
knowing this, i will welcome the wondrous colors of Autumn
but not so much the cold of Winter, yet, i will embrace it,
and
if my longevity permits, mine eyes shall behold again the
beauty of Spring that will follow, for then i will be
grateful,
accepting of the aches and pains on this aged body, yet
my spirit will remain youthful, my heart never tiring of love~
many years of my life, i have felt t’if i was but a
tiny wave in the grandness of the sea, and storm
after storm would develop, arise in the middle
of its vastness when then it would roll ominously
onto shore, with tiny me enmeshed, when then
it would crash violently upon promontory of rock
where tera-firma begins and the ocean ends
this, symbolically, is life and how my life will most
likely resume. we all begin as tiny ripples in the
sea, forming from stardust that fell from out in
space, and we all will ride the larger wave of life
as it will continue to crash onto the rocks on shore
as i recognize this reality, i will embrace all that is
within the realms of my being, my heart, and so
I shall gather all these moments, wallow in their
Presence and place them in the cornucopia of life
then trudge on forward with the spirit of hope
and the heart of love, wishing for all to do the same…
my spirit is insatiable, mine eyes never tired of
Nature’s intrinsic smile, my sensoria of smell,
touch and taste are never sated even as my time
for nocturnal rest arrives as my spirit remains
awake, heightened with delight by dreams
and like the tree and flower who remain awake
when all else are asleep, to embrace moon beams
as they do sunrays, for rivers still run and the ocean
tides still ebb and rise under the noir of night with
glistening energy from reflections of glittering stars
when a flower sleeps at the end of its season,
a bird flies o’er or a cloud soars by, we assume
the flower will grow next spring, that another
cloud will soar by and the bird will come back
to perch on the limb of a maple or oak
but when we lose a love one to heaven, the
loss leaves us so empty, we wish to see their face
one more time but we know this not to be, though
deep in our hearts and in our minds, we keep them
alive, hold onto the memory of their smile
we must shed tears from the depth of our soul,
not lose sight of their face, remembering their
gentle touch, how smooth and soft their skin, waft
of their hair, how deeply we loved and our hearts
feeling the beat of each other’s in a warm embrace.
This is dedicated to the nine who lost their lives in
the tragic helicopter crash, to the Bryant family,
to Kobe and Gianna and, also, in memory of those
who were also in the helicopter and tragically
lost their lives.
before these bags underneath mine eyes,
the wrinkles and the folds on my brow
before my two prosthetics, my displaced
shoulder and my broken digits on hands
and toes
before my shaggy white beard, the sparse
hair on my head covering where there is none
before the many days, months and years that
have passed me by, i was naïve, innocent,
i was young
and now i sit here, grateful for all this time,
this gift of life, mostly that i found you, my love
A sudden absence of something or someone we cherished and an unforgivable amount of time was spent taking it or them for granted. A sudden absence, manifesting in a gasp, a deep grasp for air to breathe, an abysmal void, then, an unrelenting sadness.
when my eyelids open this morn
does not mean i had been asleep
for my spirit never does nor does
my breath that breathes as the
wind blows and moon beams give
light to the night
the beating heart in me ceases not
for now and until it has walked on
the pathway that love has, it shall
beat in rhythm with the vibrations
of life for love never ceases to be
the aviary choir will awaken from
their nocturnal rest those who sleep
and excite the verve within to greet
the gentle beginnings of the day
there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t lament
for the pain, anguish and sadness of someone else
sometimes tears just begin to trickle down my cheeks
and not always do i recognize from whence and why
being an empathic individual is sometimes a burden
but i do not regret my heart, my caring
someday, those of us who are of the like, will change
the world for the better
a bovine accepts its journey, a foul, a fish, a caterpillar
into
a butterfly, a canine, an eagle, all know of their journey
we, humans, still question why and for what reason
we exist in this mundane sojourn
we do have a purpose, if only but an open hand, a piece of
bread, a smile...
today i saw a bird whose wing was injured,
t’was rustling about couldn’t get off the ground
saw my neighbors canine child that couldn’t walk
for neuropathy has stolen his gate
a child being pushed in a wheelchair stroller by mom,
child’s hand curled like a claw, neck and head bent
an elderly woman shuffling her feet with a walker,
and i opened and held the store door open for her
as i was driving home, went passed a graveyard, noticed
a young lady sitting at a head stone, a U.S. flag draped
made it home this day, sat at the base of my maple tree,
pondered, wherefore is
my heart and spirit not to be grateful
the subject of your love is fleeting
only because all things mundane are
transitory, although, love itself is eternal,
it is ever-present and is not a possession
of any one thus it does not wane, for it
is the intrinsic make up of all, the ’one’
i am in the midst of my introspection and
reiteration of my
‘being’, my heart my spirit,
what will the impact
of my presence be and
be in relation of this worlds sojourn
what of, when i befriend by my whistling with
the birds on trees, when i give the squirrel
peanuts and smell the waft of a wildflower
while gently touching its petals without felling
when i walk by a mother and child and i
smile at them and they smile back at me,
so that this friendly gesture will hopefully
make pleasant their day?
and as i take a stroll to find a tree to sit at
its rooted base, i lean against its trunk for
support while i lower mine to sit for a quiet
pondering of all this
and when i pass onto my next sojourn, will
my intentions of my smile, my touch, whistling
with the birds be remembered ‘here’ and will
this carry on to my next transcending journey?
when the day becomes night
from the light to the black
and the smile that once was
now turns to a flow of tears
and the heart beats faster then
abruptly slows to a shallow pace,
it feels of something that no
one else knows
once, not too long before,
the spirit was full of life’s verve
and now it has waned to the
slight of tear drops falling
but i regret not, for once
not too long ago, a smile did
evince upon my face and for
that moment, i am grateful
