light and dark of day

dread the sun and the day

people will see me in my disarray
at least in the dark of night
some may trip over me and most
just see me and they just
walk away.

i curl up, cuddle with my blanket
and all that i own in my plastic bag
my shoes a shirt and socks kept dry.
when my stomach rumbles loud
people sneer at me with words "disgusting".
when the sun brings the light, i sit up,
i don’t lie down during the day because
people kick me, throw their trash
on top of me thinking they're throwing
it away. i guess it's because i use a trash
bag as a cover to keep me dry.

i don’t want to be like this but

i now can’t get up because my army
fatigues, my pants, are now crusted on me.
the stench of relieving myself.
(had to do this, in the bush, in Nam)
they retain the water and a digested roll 
a woman threw down while walking by. 
she was scolded by ‘the man’…don’t
give them anything you’re just enabling
their ways. i think she was just throwing
it away but thanks
 
shared half of this roll with a young mother
and her young daughter who hide behind
a trash bin. mother doesn’t speak english
daughter doesn't speak just looks down.
they're too proud to be seen as homeless.
mom's afraid someone will take her child
away, separate them and deport her

wish i could get up without disgrace,
without offending anyone around.

i would try to find a faucet some place,
freshen and clean my face,
greet the sun as it brings the day
 
where i used to sleep before,
a river flowed nearby. it was a paradise.
it had grass and a bush to sleep in,
a tree to lean against, it felt of home.
a place where the young mother and
her todler would welcome and appreciate. 
i can’t recall where it is, though.

it’s hard to find my way in the dark.
my eyes no longer young, my muscles
now flaccid, don't want to be seen in daylight.
oh well that’s life. back to my darkness and
dream about food, about water, the bush and tree
and maybe a nice little clean dress
for the mother’s daughter

*for Susan @ Poets United using 'light and dark'

*dedicated to my brother passed away in the streets of los angeles,
  hopefully while dreaming. Also, to forgotten homeless Vietnam Vets.