Saturday, April 7, 2012

Empty Eyes

When she sat alone
in that time and space
where only she filled,
was it empty, was it dark

All I could see
were her empty eyes
she’d stare my way
I didn’t know if I
was a tree or me

I’d touch her hand
she’d look to see
and left me wondering
if she could feel my pulse
coming from my heart

So careful was I not
to let her see my tears
while remembering all
our loving years
maybe I should have

When her incarnate shell
finally gave way to the earth
my thoughts wandered
and I questioned

When and how was the
last time she saw me
did she last know
how much I love her
did she remember
her son holding her hand

Fuck you Alzheimer's


  1. We say they forget but look into their eyes, they tell you no, they have not truely forgotten.

  2. nene)))

    two minutes ago i stood at my kitchen sink asking myself, what do i want of this life? two hours ago or so my neighbor, a old woman who once lived in this house, came in to have a look around. i held her hand as she told and retold stories. she asked questions and fell off the answers and asked the same questions again.

    when i ask myself now what i want of my life, the answer must be changed now for what i have just witnessed. it is incredible and unforgiving, Alzheimer's. i'm sorry for your pain. i wonder on your mother's.


  3. That last line was like a punch in the gut. Yes, Alzheimer's is brutal. I'm sure you were a wonderful son to your mother and that deep inside she knew.

  4. So so sad. Somewhere deep inside, sometimes she knew, kiddo. And even if she didnt, you gave her the gift of selfless love by being there. Her soul knows everything now and I know she is proud of you and grateful for you. That is a very sad way to lose a parent. But you stayed the course. Way to be!