Saturday, April 7, 2012

Empty Eyes

When she sat alone
in that time and space
where only she filled,
was it empty, was it dark

All I could see
were her empty eyes
she’d stare my way
I didn’t know if I
was a tree or me

I’d touch her hand
she’d look to see
and left me wondering
if she could feel my pulse
coming from my heart

So careful was I not
to let her see my tears
while remembering all
our loving years
maybe I should have

When her incarnate shell
finally gave way to the earth
my thoughts wandered
and I questioned

When and how was the
last time she saw me
did she last know
how much I love her
did she remember
her son holding her hand


Fuck you Alzheimer's

5 comments:

  1. We say they forget but look into their eyes, they tell you no, they have not truely forgotten.

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  2. nene)))

    two minutes ago i stood at my kitchen sink asking myself, what do i want of this life? two hours ago or so my neighbor, a old woman who once lived in this house, came in to have a look around. i held her hand as she told and retold stories. she asked questions and fell off the answers and asked the same questions again.

    when i ask myself now what i want of my life, the answer must be changed now for what i have just witnessed. it is incredible and unforgiving, Alzheimer's. i'm sorry for your pain. i wonder on your mother's.

    xo
    erin

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  3. That last line was like a punch in the gut. Yes, Alzheimer's is brutal. I'm sure you were a wonderful son to your mother and that deep inside she knew.

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  4. So so sad. Somewhere deep inside, sometimes she knew, kiddo. And even if she didnt, you gave her the gift of selfless love by being there. Her soul knows everything now and I know she is proud of you and grateful for you. That is a very sad way to lose a parent. But you stayed the course. Way to be!

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