Existing in Irony

The antithesis of the spirit of the day;
a day when devout Christians celebrate
the monist belief that all exists in the name of ‘Jesus’,
my dream last night carried me within
the nebulae of contemplation into suicide

Impassioned onus of understanding my agnosticism,
the doubt that I now carry within about the origination
and the 'truth' of the professed ‘scriptures’(all religions),
If this be not true, in that all our efforts to be ’good’
yields no reward of promised ’heavenly joy’,
then why persist in accepting the struggle and strife
of ’life’?

If all exists without purpose, an existential thought,
then why choose to exist in a world
where pain and suffering dominates?
Exist, where the hands of those who wish
to mitigate the suffering and assuage the pain
is for naught.

So many of us consider this option
during this time of the year
when social pressures are in their heighten epitome
and depression insidiously arises quietly
because we've not met other's and our expectations
of ‘successes’ in love, in wealth, in health,
and all without a religious vision of Hope.

But once again, then I think,
why base my belief system on religion
or institutions that dictate an abidance
to only those options they've offered
in their dogma or proscribed mandates ?

Here, then, I make a choice to believe in either
‘freewill’ or ‘determinism’.
I choose ‘freewill’, therefore,
I choose unselfishness, the sharing of ‘good’,
based on my moral convictions and as explicated
by Sam Harris, a contemporary philosopher, educator,
'one's moral convictions are not based in religiosity
or prescribed social norms; manifest hypocrisies'.

Volitionally, in this way,  I therefore choose to live.